I'm not sure if you'll ever read this but if you do just know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the brutal honesty that I am going to spill, finally after years of not holding it in, but never having the words.

I have grown up a lot these past few years, and I mostly have you to thank for that. You never really know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have right? Well I am strong beyond my years, I take the hardest of situations with grace and ease... until I'm alone. But these are the things you taught me when you chose a woman over your 4 children.

I don't think any daughter should have to lay awake at night and wonder how any other man could possibly stay with her and love her when her own father can't. I don't think and daughter should have to swallow her pride when you need her because where were you when she needed you? Where were you on the rare occasion I fought with my mother and needed a place to escape too? Where were you when I was mistreated by boys who didn't deserve me but I stayed because I didn't know better? Where were you when I laid in bed devastated listening to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw because that was the song I planned to dance with you too one day at my wedding? Where were you?

I spent the better part of the last 10 years wondering why I was never enough for you. Why you would allow someone to treat me so poorly right in front of your face? Why were all of our pleas never enough for you to see a problem? You have 4 incredible children you know? It's a shame you're missing the craziest parts of our lives for this. Now you know we will never be selfish enough to keep you completely in the dark from our milestones but just know, you're only seeing from the outside looking in.

I have a few things that I want you to know.

My mother has picked up the slack you dropped... and more. Her whole world revolves around us and she never stops until we have everything we could ever want. I know you already know this but she is the most hard working, persistent, kind-hearted, INCREDIBLE woman I have ever met. If I can be half of the mother that she is I will exceed my own expectations. She works so hard every single day to give us everything we need, without the help from you that she so desperately needs. She is super woman and she deserves better too.

And my step dad, I've stopped correcting people when they accidentally call him my dad. I really don't believe I ever missed out on having a father figure because he picked up that slack too. It cant be easy, learning the boundaries of a step parent and not crossing any lines. He does everything a father should, he drives my car to the shop when i'm too scared, tells me when my shorts are too short and shirts too low cut, he makes me a separate dinner when I don't like the one being made, he brings home soup when im sick, he scared all the boys I used to bring over and he embarrasses me to no end. If you ever get the chance, thank him.. because he didn't have to do all that for your little girl.

And lastly despite every doubt in my mind, and every thought that there must be something wrong with me.. I found him daddy. I found the storybook boy I have always dreamed of. I found the boy that never gives up on me even when I give up on myself, the boy that never lets me forget how special I am, the boy that starts my car when its cold, opens doors for me, and the boy that loves me unconditionally. I have you to thank for knowing how I need to be treated.

I'll love you forever, I'll always be here, but I wont allow myself to be walked all over. I wont allow myself to be put in positions I should never face, I will always stand up for myself even against you but I will ALWAYS be here for you.

I love you,

your little girl.