The transition from high school to college is no easy feat, especially for those who are quiet and have trouble adapting to change. You're possibly in a town that is unfamiliar with new people you haven't spent years getting to know and have just become comfortable with. This new chapter in your life can seem fairly daunting, I know.
I recently finished my first year of college and in the beginning, it was no walk in the park. I was feeling hopeless and quickly came to believe I made a grave mistake in going to a college two hours away to dorm because I hadn't lived out my fantasy of starting fresh, instantly making friends. I was stuck back in my safe bubble, but alone the first few days.
It's highly probable that there are incoming freshman questioning if going away to college is a good idea or other college students who have had similar thoughts or experiences. As someone who is hesitant about meeting new people, I want others to know that there are people who understand how they may be feeling. It's cliche to say, but you truly are not alone. I have some advice on how to overcome the dark thoughts and create a new safety net at college.
Go to events
The events held by your college are almost always going to be a bit cheesy and lame, but they are still a good way to get yourself out there. Some of the events are specifically targeted to meet new people, such as ice cream socials that normally occur during the beginning of the year. In fact, I met my first friend at an ice cream social. I didn't set out with the goal to make a friend, I just wanted the free ice cream to make me feel better, but we both connected over our loneliness and awkwardness. Good things come unexpectedly. (Plus, you get free stuff! The chance of gaining a new friend and getting things for free sounds like a pretty good deal to me.)
Talk to people in your classes
If you're lucky, you'll get professors that skip over ice breakers and just get into teaching because let's be honest: no one actually enjoys them and how uncomfortable it is to be put on the spot. Still, ice breakers can help spark conversation between you and your classmates. There are few chances you get to talk to your classmates, unless the teacher has asked you to work in groups and discuss the work. Most of the time, students come to class, sit silently (likely on their phones), listen to the lecture, and are bolting out the door. After discussing the work, try getting to know the person, if they seem like someone you would want to learn more about. First meetings are always going to be forced and weird, but you have to start somewhere.
Connect with your neighbors
I cannot speak for every college, but at Rowan University, there are few opportunities to actually meet the people living next to you. Every RA is different in how they try to connect the students they are responsible for, but a majority of them will hold events every so often to get everyone together. (In all honesty, students don't really show up to these events unless there is free food involved, but it is still worth a shot to meet more people.) A good talking point is to rant about your living conditions. All college dorms have something absurd about them and complaining about school comes so easily. I once bonded with a complete stranger who happened to live on the same floor as me, groaning about how annoying living in Holly Pointe was as we stood outside in the middle of the night, huddling for warmth because someone thought it would be hilarious to pull the fire alarm.
Join Clubs
I think the best way to really meet new people is to join clubs. That way, you are surrounding yourself with others that have similar interests with you and will have an easier time finding something to talk about. For me, joining the Writing Arts Club and Avant was one of the best decisions I made. I never had the opportunity to emerge myself amongst so many other talented writers before. It was truly an amazing feeling and everyone was very supportive of everyone else's writing. These clubs made me a stronger writer and introduced me to some incredible people.
It seems like the end of the world at first, but you just have to keep believing you will find your people. The tips I mentioned above have been told to me before and I never truly believed it until I experienced it. Some may not work or maybe none at all, but you still have to make an effort. It's scary to put yourself out there, but it feels so good to have people around you that you can depend on, especially in new surroundings. Keep pushing through my fellow quiet individuals!
