9 Times College Students Were Actually Aziz Ansari

9 Times College Students Were Actually Aziz Ansari

It's important to remember to treat yo self

Actor, comedian and author Aziz Ansari (known for his role as Tom Haverford in the hit TV show Parks and Rec) is a goofy and relatable funny-man. Aziz also has some of the best facial expressions of modern television, therefore inspiring this post.

1. When you forgot you had homework


We've all been there. You get home, think about what you have to do that night, and feel the sweet relief of having absolutely no obligations whatsoever. You put on Netflix, cuddle your body pillow, and feel utterly satisfied with life...until you get to class the next morning and realize you did, in fact, have a two-page reflection due.

2. Student ID photos


It's move-in day. You're a nervous but excited little freshman. Your parents are watching from the side. It's hot. There's hundreds of other sweaty, hormonal teenagers near you. And you're forced to smile for a picture that will serve as your ID for the next four years. No pressure!

3. When you unexpectedly get a good grade


At one point or another, we'll be given assignments we don't completely understand. The responsible college student would go see their professor for clarification...but sometimes we just don't have the time to make that happen. So we kind of just wing it and hope for the best. And then we celebrate when we get higher than a C+.

4. When the professor goes from the syllabus straight to the notes


This constitutes as cruel and unusual punishment.

5. When you're waiting for your friends in the dining hall


Being alone in the dining hall isn't the worst thing in the world, but it is uncomfortable. Especially if you're sitting at a table for five, and you're the only one there. I swear I'm not hogging the table.

6. When you're trying to figure out what the professor is talking about


Some classes are better than others. And that's okay. Just fake it till ya make it.

7. When you're trying to stay awake during an 8 a.m.


If you woke up late and didn't have time to get coffee, keeping your eyes open is basically impossible.

8. When you're third/fifth wheeling


It's that time of the year: the months are getting colder, and couples are getting together. But for those of us not in a relationship, that can be a bit awkward at social events, like parties. So you might as well just sit there sipping your tea and hope eventually the couples will get tired of making out (spoiler: they won't).

9. When your parents ask you how your grades are doing


I haven't even had mid-terms yet, but I still get this question at least once a week. I like to think I have a 4.0, since none of my professors have put grades in yet. So either I'm doing really, really well, or really, really poorly.

Cover Image Credit: Michael Monday, USA Today

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A Poem To Art Saving Us

Art is what you need it to be.

“Youth is wasted on the young”, I know, and I am trying. So desperately to ensure that my odyssey is a chest of memories that will never diminish.

I find myself staring at the bottom of empty coffee mugs, caught between the backwash of coffee tainted oxygen molecules and morning delays. These cells are nothing but pixilated facades.

Nietzsche says that art does not need to be truth, but isn’t that what it is all about? Is that not what makes it so raw? Making the intangible, tangible? But the only thing true of art is that art saves us. And if that means that what art is made of is not truth; that art is the outcome of a survival mechanism to compose and convince ourselves to feel something so that we do not fall into the black hole of nihilism then so be it.

Because I won’t know any other way. All I know is that I am breathing and thinking and just being.

It is kind of ironic that we depend on each other’s defense mechanisms to live, to prove that our existence isn’t just some fucked evolutionary step. We are so desperate and so in need to find ourselves, to understand that we need to be here that we also begin to see ourselves in the art works. In the brush strokes of Van Gough; in the not so irregular and not so misplaced lines of Picasso’s works. This is both comforting and scary.

Some days it is hard to differentiate yourself from all the art that is surrounding you and I; sorting through all the pieces that are spread along the sunrises, book stores or through the numb vibrations of the rain. Art does not have to be true, but it does have to be a series of releases.

We spend our whole lives breathing in and attacking notes, but we always forget that we can breathe. That in our composition of life we can add our own breath marks. It is okay to release. To breathe in and to stop your tune when needed.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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The 7 Best Pieces of Drag Race Lingo Ru-vealed

Werk it, queen!

Season Three of "RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars" just wrapped last week, but season 10 of Drag Race is scheduled to premiere on March 22nd. You might’ve turned on your TV and thought, “what the heck are they talking about?”. Some of the lingo is confusing and unclear, so here’s a guide to just some of the key catchphrases.

1. The library/Being read

The name of the mini challenge is “Reading is Fundamental, in which queens take turns reading each other. When it’s their turn, they “enter the library”, which just means putting on goofy glasses. Reading is pretty much pointing out flaws but in a funny or over the top way.

2. Shade

Throwing shade is similar to reading someone, but I think of shade as usually more blunt, insulting and less clever.

3. Tea

Derives from the letter “T” standing for truth. Tea refers to gossip, news or information. Commonly used in the sense of “So, what’s the tea?”, which means “girl, what’s the gossip?”. It’s commonly combined with shade, as someone might say “No, tea, no shade, but…” which is a preface saying “no disrespect”. Conversely, someone might say “all tea, all shade” meaning that they know exactly how they sound and don’t care if you’re offended.

4. Fish

A queen is said to be looking fishy/serving fish when they closely resemble a woman. Some of the fishiest queens include Tatianna, Courtney Act, and Farrah Moan.

5. Back Rolls

An insult used in season 5 when Jade Jolie told Alyssa Edwards: “Girl, you had rolls all over the place in the back, it was disgusting!” To which Alyssa responded

6. Snatch Game

A parody of the 1960’s celebrity game show “The Match Game”. On the original show, contestants write in answers to questions, hoping to match the guest judge. Snatch Game operates in the same way, but the contestants have to impersonate a celebrity. This is a challenge that has taken place every season since the second one, and it’s probably the most highly anticipated. This is one of the challenges that really establishes the top queens, as they’re judged based off of likeness and humor. Celebrities that have been impersonated range from Dame Maggie Smith to Britney Spears, Judge Judy, Anna Nicole Smith, and even RuPaul.

7. Comedy vs. Pageant Queens

This is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Some queens are more specialized in makeup, costumes, and overall pageantry. Others are more campy and over the top. Comedy queens are usually stronger in acting or comedy challenges, but pageant queens have the upper hand in design focused challenges.

So there ya have it, a short list of Drag Race terminology. I RuPaulogize if you got a little lost somewhere, but if you managed to make it through this article….


Cover Image Credit: Daniel Dudek-Corrigan

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