There are some things about driving a car that really suck. They just can't be avoided. Here is an ultra-relatable list of just nine of those things we all hate about driving.
1. The 18 seagulls that live in your car.
Those 18 seagulls that flock in your car every time you hop in- where do they come from, and why are they there? We don't know, but we do know they're annoying as hell.
2. How the tired pop off every other mile and you have to get out of the car and chase them down.
It happens all the time; the tires of your car just shooting off into the abyss. We don't have time to chase down all four tires in the middle of the Kennedy! #rt if you know what I'm talking about!
3. The GPS voice harshly berating your driving choices.
It's so mean. "Take a left up here, asshat" "It'll take 20 minutes of your worthless life for you to get to work in this traffic" "You can never satisfy your wife, Brian" I mean, jeez! Who does it think it is?
4. The tiny steering wheel.
We've all wondered it before: why is the steering wheel in every car so tiny? It's like a dime in my monstrous hands. You would think car companies know to make steering wheels big enough for our hands.
5. How every time you change gears, the car moans lustily.
It's creepy. Does the car enjoy it? It makes me uncomfortable.
6. The HIV risk.
The HIV risk we all take while sitting behind the wheel is too much. Something must be done to eradicate HIV. Donate here.
7. Regis Philbin constantly talking your ear off from the backseat.
Regis Philbin is a famed and terrific comedic legend, but does he ever shut up? When he sits in the backseat telling me all about the bullshit he's done in his career, it's too much for me to take. He's a great guy, but he doesn't need to sit in the backseat of my car and talk for my entire drive to Texas and back.
8. How there are so many pedals.
It's scary. I can't keep track of them all and it stresses me out. Car companies should listen to the people and decrease the number of pedals to maybe one, one half.
9. Submitting a driving plan before being cleared to go to the supermarket.
I don't have time to write out a full plan of how I intend to get to the supermarket to buy my daughter her gummy vitamins every Sunday. It's irritating. Who even reads and clears them?
