First off, a note to the ladies: we all know it’s MUCH more complicated than pizza and compliments…but damn if those don’t help!
And now, a note to the boys. Yes, we are confusing (so are you!). But, there is a noticeable difference between trying and making excuses not to. We DO recognize when you try and when it comes down to it, that is what truly matters.
So to begin, here are a few insider tips from my personal experience as a woman. I cannot guarantee they will work or that every woman will agree, but they may be slightly superior to the advice from that one bro (whose intentions are likely skewed).
1. That Sly Smile
You are at a party, hanging with friends, studying at the library or literally anywhere and you make eye contact. That sly smile that only you two recognize will go miles. It will make her feel special as if in that split second of time, no one else in the room exists.
2. Inside Jokes
This might just be me, but inside jokes are my favorite. They are the little moments of mutual recognition that trigger some comical or absurd memory. Guys, this is an easy way to make her laugh, while simultaneously reaffirming your intimate bond of cherished, personal and hilarious memories.
3. Don’t Be “Cool” in Front of Your Bros
No, you are not “whipped” if you enjoy being with your significant other or listen to her advice. She will not be impressed if you instantly change your entire demeanor when you see your friends and act tough just to prove yourself in a perceived battle of manhood. She likes you for your kind words, not your obnoxious demonstrations of masculinity.
This is not to say that we don't acknowledge the importance of bro time and talk. So, do not ditch your friends when you get a significant other. Instead, establish an agreement with your partner to set aside time to just be with your friends. Odds are, those people were in your life far before your boyfriend or girlfriend.
4. Make Food
If there is flour on your clothes, splattered batter on the cabinets or a mound of dirty dishes in the sink, you are doing something right. Stay at home, try new recipes and burn some cookies together. From simple dishes to complex meals, it is the time spent measuring the baking powder and stirring the ingredients that matters. Besides, you can always order pizza if the results are that terrible
.5. Dance Alone
We don’t care if you don’t know the moves, proper hand placement, or step on our toes. When her favorite slow song comes on the radio while you are cleaning the house or making midnight pancakes in the kitchen in your pajamas, grab her hand, twirl her around, pull her close and dance. It is simple and effective. The initial surprise will make her laugh, but will soon fade as she melts into the warmth of your rhythmic body.
6. Be Excessive
I do not mean rain her with extravagant gifts of pearls and name-brand clothes--no, this relies on your reactions. When you see your girl come through the front door wearing a new dress with her hair done up and her makeup on point, boy, you better make a fuss. Yet, just as important, when she is rocking those sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt, call her beautiful. Women appreciate knowing that their partners find them just as attractive with Cheeto crumbs on their faces as those rare times their hair is actually brushed.
7. Be Proud
This is an extension of #6, but this reveals and depends upon your highest qualities. Honor her achievements, aspirations and passions. Taking pride in her personal achievements can boost her self-confidence and desire to succeed.
Yes, having someone indulge in your beauty is nice, but these superficial compliments do not even begin to scratch the surface of what makes her unique. Tell her you support her dreams, that her triumphs are well-deserved, that her failures are obstacles from which she will learn and that you are proud of her. These comments will only foster her personal growth.
8. Be There
This may seem so obvious that it sometimes loses its significance in a relationship. On the day she has a huge exam, make her breakfast, hold her when she cries, be excited with her when she is happy and answer the phone when she needs to vent. Prove to her that you care. Don't just say it. After a while, she will know you are there for her even when you aren't physically present. This will take time and emotional effort on your part. If she's worth it, this won't feel like a chore.
9. You Deserve All of This, Too
Relationships in modern society seem to revolve around the woman’s needs, deemphasising the importance of how the man is treated and feels. Guys, YOU deserve to get pampered, too. A relationship is reciprocal. You deserve to be called handsome, surprised with cute texts, shown off and supported. Find yourself a partner who puts in just as much effort as you do.
