1. Ugh, I’m so glad its Chris Soules. He is perfect.
2. Haha, Prince Farming, I get it.
3. I wonder what its like dating someone that all of America is ready to throw themselves after.
4. Chris’s tractor looks like a spider transformer.
5. Iowa is, like, only a couple hours from Illinois…
6. WHY DIDN’T I AUDITION!?
7. They could’ve done without the b-roll of Chris against the brick wall though.
8. Judging Chris a little after he said, “this is the best way to find love.”
9. I can’t deal with all these solo shots they’re taking of Chris looking out into the horizon, we get it, Iowa has nothing more to offer.
10. Catherine Guidici is so freaking cute.
11. And Sean Lowe’s beard is working for him.
12. Basically nothing can top Sean’s season of The Bachelor.
13. But what is up with Catherine’s shawl thing?
14. And can this countdown to the actual show take any longer?
15. Ew, Lacy Faddoul from Season 18 is so tacky, I can’t stand her voice.
16. LOL “Love at first sight” aka Marcus Grodd’s first sight of Lacy’s boobs. Wonder how long their marriage will last.
17. Woah first girl, Britt, is going to be hard to top.
18. “I’m a very touchy person, I’m a feeler for sure.” –Britt
19. Jillian’s quads had me like…
20. Okay, Amanda from Lake in the Hills, Illinois.
21. “I’ll get right out there and get my hands dirty, no problem” -Whitney
22. “I have way more fun with my son than anyone else.” -Mackenzie. Then why are you on The Bachelor?
23. “Smoking is not prohibited on this flight unless you’re smoking hot, Chris.” –Alyssa
24. Its been one year since this girl’s been widowed and she’s on The Bachelor? Not being insensitive here, just very confused.
25. Lol, Andi Dorfman is ready to jump Josh Murray’s bones with the look of her hand on his butt--er--back.
26. Nikki Ferrell has the balls to face everyone after being humiliated on national television by Juan Pablo?
27. “I wanted to stand by my man.” Is basically all Nikki has left to say.
28. Oh, poor Nikki.
29. Why push this any farther? Let the girl go, Chris Harrison.
30. Uhh can I jump in that shower with ya, Chrissy boy?
31. “His smile? Its just a panty dropper.” –Amanda as she giggles.
32. If I was Chris, I would be scared of these single girls that are psycho over him before even actually meeting him.
33. All of these girls are older than me and have skinnier arms than me. I need their trainer’s numbers asap.
34. Britt is like crying while hugging Chris…run Chris.
35. Chris is like a little an eight-year-old on Christmas morning right now.
36. All this small talk is making me uncomfortable and I’m not even there.
37. “I’m so glad its you.” –everyone
38. “I wouldn’t be here if it was anyone else.” –everyone
39. Trina’s creep wink. 'Nuff said.
40. Chris’s tight fake smile after seeing the heart Trina got him. “That’s awesome…that’s awesome,” we see through that smile Chris, that heart thing was creepy, Trina.
41. All the other girl’s reaction to Tara’s cowgirl outfit #highschool
42. Tara comes back out of the limo in a dress…
43. How much do these chicks pregame this thing?
44. “Is it okay to open my eyes..? Uhh? Okay.” –Chris to Amanda’s secret admirer entrance.
45. “Oh, its pretty hard.” –Chris
46. Mackenzie’s anxiety face could’ve not happened and life would go on.
47. “I’m really happy to see your face.” Ashley S. as she looks blankly into Chris’s eyes.
48. Chris’s reaction to Kaitlyn’s “You can plow the f*** out of me any day.”
49. How bad do you want to get in there?” –Chris Harrison to Chris Soules…in where are we talking, exactly?
50. “CHRIS IS HERE.” -everyone.
51. “CHRIS IS HERE?!” –everyone else.
52. The silence after Kaitlyn tells her bad joke about having a “tight seal.”
53. “Do I want ten more? That’s a loaded question.” –Chris. Literally or figuratively?
54. “I went to school for sports broadcast and now I sell cadaver tissue.” –Trina.
55. “I just have one question for ya, do ya’ll inseminate hogs?” –Whitney
56. Okay but Whitney and Chris’s banter is kind of cute…
57. Amanda’s eyes when she says, “I’m from Illinois.”
58. Actually, Amanda’s eyes the entire night.
59. Thanks, Amanda, reppin’ Illinois real well.
60. The pun-tastic Bachelor themed advertisement for Wedding Ringer may have topped the entire episode…and it wasn’t even part of the show.
61. “They went in for it!” [about a hug].
62. Nicole’s pig snout…k.
63. “I wanted to ham it up for you.” –Nicole.
64. Brittany literally walks out of the limo in lingerie. Way to leave something to the imagination.
65. Carly’s song entrance was actually really cute, not sure about the pink karaoke machine and fairy outfit, though.
66. A plus size model? Go Bachelor casting crew!
67. If I had a dollar for every time Chris exhaled loudly…I could buy the entire Bachelor franchise.
68. “I truly, truly believe that my wife is in this room.” –Chris. Don’t know if that’s the wisest thing to tell 30 obsessed women meeting you for the first time.
69. “Kaitlyn is a firecracker.” –Chris (That’s one way to put it).
70. “I wish I was a polygamist right now.” –Chris talking on behalf of most men.
71. “I want to give you this rose.” [To Brittany as she is talking to Chris privately] “Take a look at this onion.” [to the cameramen] “Are you dying inside?” [to Chris] –Ashley S. is possibly a little drunk.
72. “What’s alfalfa?” “Is it organic?” –Mackenzie. Try being any more basic and see how it goes.
73. I didn’t know sport-fishing enthusiast was considered a career?
74. The first impression rose is starting to wilt by the end of this long-ass night.
75. Everyone else’s reaction to Britt getting the first-impression rose.
76. “I heard a rumor, I heard she doesn’t shower.” –Michelle Money from season 15 on Andi’s legs.
77. “KRAZY” KAITLYN gets the first rose? That has to be something the producers cooked up.
78. Is it just me or does Chris have a thing for brunettes? I’m a brunette…
79. Jillian’s eye roll. Girl’s got some ‘tude.
80. Tara is a train wreck.
81. Chris is taking this rose ceremony much more seriously than any other bachelor ever has.
82. Tara got a rose? Brb while I go question Chris’s taste and my entire life.
83. Did Jillian just snort when her name was called? Well I guess that’s something I would do.
84. Ashley S.’s thank you is emotionless just like everything else she says about anything that isn’t an onion/pomegranate.
85. Kimberly comes back in to talk to Chris after being rejected and I am freaking out for her…so of course we don’t find out what happens until next week.
86. I think I need a new hobby.
All GIFs courtesy of http://giphy.com
