You're out drinking, maybe you're out with the girls, maybe it's guys night out, hell, maybe you're having a couple by yourself after a long day. Either way, you're out tonight with a mission: to get a buzz on, and you will succeed in that sense. But, have you ever woken up the next morning and saw a couple text messages you shouldn't have sent? Or, perhaps you have a couple mystery bruises you have no idea where they came from? Here are eight things we all think we are super awesome at doing after a few drinks.
1. Flirting
My only advice to you: just don't, unless your alter ego is someone with serious game. Flirting once you've had a couple drinks in you never turns out good, whether it be in person or via text. Some of us might need that liquid courage to talk to someone we've got the hots for, but in most cases, it only turns into a drunken slur or sloppy text no one can understand, and you, in most cases, you'll wake up regretting every word you said or typed.
2. Talking in general
Sometimes, you're just too close for comfort. Sometimes, you're screaming right in someone's ear. Sometimes, you're making no sense. Sometimes, you're rambling on and on about your pet guinea pig that died in the sixth grade (may sweet Hamlet rest in peace). Regardless of what you're saying, it probably sounds more like gibberish than sentences to the poor person who has to listen. You're drunken words are just something to crack up about the next day, and no one knows what the hell you're even talking about, but it's all good, you provided a few good laughs.
3. Walking
You ever have those nights where your legs just aren't working? You fall everywhere and miraculously, somehow, everyone's got a front row seat to your falling act. Walking while drunk is a serious task! You don't know which way is up and which way is down, you're all over the place, acting like a typical stumbellina. No matter how hard you try to walk in a straight line, it just isn't happening.
4. Dancing
Once the drinks are flowing and you're at a bar, you almost always here some drunk girls start yelling "This is my jam!" and they all start doing these horrifying dance moves they'd never want their fathers to see. We're all guilty of thinking we've got the moves when we've had a couple drinks. We start pop, lockin' and droppin' it like the song was still popular. We do "the dab" on everyone, until we pull something in our neck, and we always think we're looking like the coolest person in the place, that is, until someone shows us the embarrassing Snapchats the next morning. Point blank, we all do it, don't even try to deny that time you did the disco man dance move because we all saw it!
5. Singing
Nope, you're not Celine Dion, and you're definitely not Drake when you're up there singing karaoke (obnoxiously) at your favorite Karaoke Tuesday bar. Whether it's you or one of your friends, we all know someone who thinks they have the voice of an angel when they're drinking. You're up there, breaking out your favorite dance move and singing along to your favorite songs with all your friends like no one's watching. But don't worry, we're definitely watching and taking Snap videos for proof! God bless everyone's ears.
6. Being Honest
Maybe you've finally worked up the courage to tell your crush you like them. Maybe you're fed up and decided to tell your sworn enemy how much you hate them. Or, maybe you've just decided to be brutally honest and tell someone your deepest darkest secret. When you're drunk, you have no filter and everyone comes out like Cady Heron says, word vomit. Sometimes your honesty is appreciated; other times, you probably shouldn't have had that extra shot of Patron before you approached your crush.
7. Eating
Ah, the infamous drunchies. If you were on a diet, forget it because once you get a wiff of that delicious pepperoni and cheese pizza your roomies just ordered, that kale salad you had for lunch will seem like a distant memory. You'll eat everything in sight and not give one sh*t. Pasta from three days ago? Hey, why not. McDonald's at 3 a.m.? Who cares? Big Mac sauce? More like McCrack sauce. And if you're anything like me, you'll wake up the next morning with the evidence (crumbs) in your bed as proof!
8. Everything
Liquid confidence/courage is no joke, my friends. When we're drunk or buzzed, we think everything we do is hilarious, ingenious and the best way to do things. We think we've got our act together and no one even knows we've had a few drinks. Our jokes are always the funniest and our comebacks always burn. We think we're perfect at everything, when in reality, we should not be in charge of making any major decisions. But don't let us know that because for tonight, our sh*t don't stink!
So, when you're out this weekend poisoning yourself with your favorite tequila, just remember all the things you think you might be good at, but you're actually not! Although this list may seem a little predictable, keep in mind that being drunk can be fun, but it makes you do some funny and stupid things you can laugh at the next day! Happy drinking, and remember to always drink responsibly!
