I love being allergic to gluten, dairy, avocados, apples, pears, peaches, watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes, onions, garlic, broccoli, asparagus and other random foods I don't have time to list. It makes life so much easier for me. Just kidding. I'm lying. It sucks. It makes everything a hassle, from going to big social events to simply hanging out with friends. I constantly have to worry about what I’m going to eat, and it affects my everyday life. There are plenty of you out there with food allergies who can relate.
1. You have to make extreme adjustments to everything on the menu at restaurants.
Me: Could I have the caesar salad with no cheese, no croutons, and no dressing?
Waiter: So you just want lettuce?
2. Waiters hate you.
No one wants to be that aggressive customer that questions the waiter’s listening skills, but nothing’s worse than when the moment you’ve been waiting for arrives: the food gets to the table, and you have to send it back because there’s food on it you’re allergic to.
2. You always have to pack snacks.
If you don’t have allergy-friendly food handy, you may die of starvation.
3. People just don’t understand.
“But you can have a small amount of gluten, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Little do they know…
4. Going out to eat with friends isn’t always easy.
Friend: Want to get pizza?
Me: I’m allergic to gluten.
Friend: What about ice cream?
Me: I’m allergic to dairy. *cries to self*
5. Going over people’s houses can be rough, too.
You can’t eat the food they make you. Then they feel bad. Then you feel bad that they feel bad, and it’s just awkward for everybody.
6. People think your life sucks.
Person: Wow! If I was allergic to all of those foods, I would hate my life.
7. You can’t trust anyone because they don’t know ingredients like you do.
Person: Hey, I baked these gluten- and dairy-free cookies. Want to try one?
Me: OK. *takes bite* But there are chocolate chips in these...
Person: Oh, right. I forgot chocolate was dairy.
Me: *braces myself for death*
8. People on a gluten-free diet by choice annoy you.
Why would you ever do that to yourself—BY CHOICE?