I don't complain a lot (just as much as your average, grumpy old man), but when I do complain, it's usually about a physical feature of mine. I'm on the shorter side, I have long wavy hair that wants to curl on one side and hang straight on the other, I'm too olive-toned for normal colors to look good on me, and the list could go on all day. But the one physical feature that I cannot stand is my baby face. I, like many other humans on the planet, suffer (or were blessed, depending on your age) from having young features. Paired with my height, people tend to think I'm younger than I am. When I'm 40, I'm sure I'll be thankful, however, right now, I would just like to go to a bar or buy a pack of cigarettes without people doing a double take, staring at my ID then back at me, and questioning me about everything. I was at the gym a while back trying to get my cardio on, and this woman looked over at me and said, "Honey, how old are you?" I responded as politely as I could, informing her of my age, and she looked taken aback. She laughed a little, and then quite seriously told me, "Oh, well I thought you were 12." Twelve! I've gotten 15 before, but never 12! Needless to say, I walked away and gave her the evil eye the rest of the time I was there. Here are a few things all of us baby faces can relate to:
1. People (mainly grandparents/aunts/etc.) still think that pinching your cheeks is cute, even when you're 20. A simple hello would've sufficed.
2. You can pull off many looks, but sexy is not one of them. It's hard to be sexy when you have the face of an extremely underage person. If anything, it'll make the person you're trying to be sexy for rethink their life choices.
3. Your parents use your face against you, and definitely try to get child prices for you as long as possible. Once when I was 16, the hostess who was seating us asked me if I needed a children's menu. I acted appalled, and then proceeded to get one because it had a coloring pack. Oops?
4. Constantly being reminded that "you may hate it now, but just think, you'll look like you're 30 when you're in your 40s!" Well, am I 40 now?! No?! Then I will continue to complain and will hit you if you say I cannot.
5. No one takes you seriously. This is a constant for me, especially at work. I work in retail and often have to help customers with returns/exchanges/their marriage problems/their attitude adjustment. When I ask if you need any help, don't turn to me, ask if I work there, and then laugh when I respond. And don't say, "Shouldn't you be in school right now?"
6. High schoolers will hit on you. And then you get to break their heart when you inform them that you've been out of high school a few years and don't plan to rob the cradle any time soon (or hopefully ever, ya nasty).
7. People think your younger sibling/cousin is your significant other, and people will think your significant other is your older brother. No lie, I was out in public with my 14-year-old cousin, and people thought we were together. And vice versa, I was on a date, and the waitress said, "Aw, it's so nice for you to take your little sister out." Ha ha, nice one, lady—there goes your tip!
8. People are surprised when you say a curse word or get an attitude. "Didn't your mother teach you better?" Yeah, she probably did, but the Army and life have kinda ruined that for me.
The one thing we baby-faces have going for us is that we can use makeup and contour our faces beyond belief. Even if you personally can't use makeup because you think that a powder brush and a blush brush are the same thing (oops?), you can rest assured someone close to you does know the difference and will help you look absolutely fabulous.
