One of the most unexpected things I have learned about college is how important Halloween is to students. For the past few weeks, all anyone has been talking about is the upcoming holiday. Preparations range from party planning to dorm decorating, but the most important topic is, of course, costumes. Coming up with an original Halloween costume at a school full of creative and unique people can be challenging, so here are just a few ideas for a last minute costume that will be fully appreciated by your UVM peers.
1. Bernie Sanders
Even though Burlington's former mayor has now become a national figure, only UVM students will truly appreciate and enjoy a visit from their political idol at a Halloween party next Saturday. To create the perfect Bernie Sanders costume you will need a black suit (preferably an old one borrowed from your grandfather), a pair of glasses, and a Bernie 2016 pin. In order to capture the true essence of Berine, watch one of those Youtube tutorials on how to draw on fake wrinkles and spend hours trying to unsuccessfully recreate the wrinkles on your own face. Don't worry if you end up looking like a troll, you'll still look more like the real Bernie. The last but most critical component of a Bernie Sanders costume is the hair. Now you could just simply order an old man wig of Amazon, but if you really want to wow your friends with you dedication to Halloween, shave your head and stick bits of frayed cotton fluff on it. And don't forget the importance of a good Bernie Impression. All you have to do is walk around the party grumbling and shouting about capitalism and Hilary Clinton's damn emails.
2. Fall
Next to winter, the most popular (and beautiful) season in Vermont is undoubtedly fall. Why else would half the country's population flock to our state to risk their lives by stopping in the middle of the road in order to get the perfect foliage shot? So, why not take our beloved season and personify it as your Halloween costume this year. Basically just throw on your Bean boots and favorite fall outfit, douse yourself in a strong adhesive, and roll around in a pile of leaves. Once you are sufficiently coated in leaves have a trusted friend spray you with your favorite fall scent such as Pumpkin Spice, Apple Orchard, or my personal favorite Thanksgiving Dinner (a classic blend of turkey, gravy, and burnt pecan pie). Complete the look with a bag of overpriced hand-picked apples to carry around. Bonus points if you also bring apple cider donuts to the party.
3. Ben & Jerry
Looking for a couples costume or a funny duo for you and your roommate? Look no farther than immortal duo responsible for the official ice cream of UVM - Ben and Jerry. Simply grab a pair of drab collared t-shirts and some cool retro glasses. One of you will need to plan ahead and grow a bushy beard and both of you may possibly need to put on some weight (eating Ben and Jerry's regularly will help you with that). As you walk around, both of you will need to be eating the ice cream to help explain your costume (preferably a classic one like Cherry Garcia). If, for some reason, you don't feel like dressing up like Vermont heroes you can also accomplish this costume by dressing up like an actual pint of ice cream. All you would have to do is print out a label for the flavor of choice and cover your body in the flavor's components such as marshmallow sauce and chocolate fishes for Phish Food. To give your costume authenticity bath in vanilla extract so you give off that creamy smell.
4. Rally Cat
Want to really wow your UVM peers? Dress up as their favorite mascot, Rally Cat. Now if you can't get a hold of a genuine Rally Cat costume by either borrowing one or paying the guy to go to the party for you as Rally Cat so you can stay home and watch Netflix, then you're going to need to improvise. Start by going to the UVM bookstore and spending your entire savings on UVM apparel. Everything from your socks and shoes to your gloves should be green and gold. Add a pair of cute cat ears to your head, paint on some whiskers, and you are ready to go. Don't forget to lead the party in some traditional UVM cheers and offer random people high fives as you walk around. If you want to play up the cat aspect of your mascot costume, lick your paw while talking to people and lap up milk out of your cup.
5. Ira and Ethan Allen
This one is for UVM's historically inclined crowd. Only your savvy classmates will get you and your friend's tribute to the founder of UVM and his brother, the leader of the Green Mountain Boys. Ideally both you and your costume partner will hand sew traditional revolutionary war era garb for your costume complete with wool coats and man stockings. In order to be true to the period, don't shower for a few days before Halloween to really capture that historical odor. Props for this costume can include Ticonderoga pencils for Ethan to carry around or a copy of the university charter for Ira. But I should warn you that you may end up spending the night explaining the historical context of your costume to your more clueless friends.
6. Camel's Hump
Although dressing up like a geological feature isn't the sexiest costume, what UVM student wouldn't want to party with their favorite hiking destination? One option for this costume is to simply find a camel and bring it with you, pointing at its hump while dressed in hiking gear. Don't have time to wrangle a last-minute camel? No problem. Simply order a camel mask for your face and stuff a pillow up your back to create a hump. You should already have a natural hump forming there anyways from carrying around that heavy backpack, so really just play that up. Dress the rest of your body in hiking gear and when people look confused, just gesture and emphasize the hump until they put two and two together. Also, if you know how to make a camel noise, it adds a nice touch But remember, in order to stay true to your character, you can't pee for the entire night.
7. Maple Creemee
Dressing up like an ice cream cone may seem silly at first, but trust me, this costume is a conversation starter at UVM. The first part of the costume is simple, just order an ice cream cone costume off the internet. Once it arrives go outside and meticulously spray paint it light brown. Next, infuse the costume with artificial maple scent so you can smell as delicious as you look. The night of Halloween put on your costume and do your makeup using a very brown pallet including a dark brown lipstick. For the finishing touch have a friend pour actual maple syrup over your body. Feel free to use artificial maple syrup for this part, we wouldn't want to waste the good stuff on a costume. This is a great costume choice to wear to a party hosted by someone you don't like because then you can relish in making everything they own sticky. Lastly, make sure to get into a heated argument with anyone who thinks your costume is maple soft serve. Show those fools no mercy.
8. Speeder and Earl
Saving the best for last, you and a buddy could go as Speeder and Earl of Speeder and Earl's Coffee, the Burlington roastery that fuels the all-nighters of every student on campus. Since I assume none of you are up to facial reconstructive surgery, to nail your Halloween look make sure one of you has a longish face while the other has a rounder one. The person dressing up as Speeder will simply need a black leather jacket and a white t-shirt. And don't be afraid to shave off part of your eyebrows to truly embody the look. Meanwhile, the guy playing Earl will need a 3XL green turtle-neck sweater that he can stuff with pillows.It will also be necessary for him to shave off the top of his hair leaving the sides to grow out. Small round glass spectacles with also need to be acquired to replicated this look. It's obvious that one of these costumes is more appealing than the other. I suggest a coin toss to see who has the honor of being Earl. Bring the whole ensemble together by carrying cups of coffee around to drink throughout the night. The caffeine buzz may take a few days to wear off, but your thoughtful impersonation of the men that keep us awake during class will be respected.
You only get to celebrate Halloween in college four times in your life (unless you're a med student, then you get no Halloweens because holidays don't exist for you). So it's imperative that you make each spooky October 31st you get count and the best way to do that is to sacrifice grades, money, and your soul for the perfect Halloween costume. The crystal clear memories you will have of those nights will be ones you will cherish your entire life.
