Every Fantasy Football league enforces different punishments and rewards for their members. Ranging from lush, friendly rules to strict, possibly life-altering commitments, leagues will diligently follow the traditions they establish for years. The following punishments for the unfortunate saps who end up in last place are possible ideas that you can implement in your very own league next year--unless you can't handle them.
1. The "Classic Kegger League"
This one is an easy win for everybody in your boring soft-core league, even for the loser. I guarantee after a few cups the person at the bottom of the ladder will feel much better about their embarrassing defeat. This is the punishment chosen when your friends need others to comfort them after they achieve minimal success and finish a competition dead-last.
2. The "Tattoo League"
This league is for those of you who have always wanted a tattoo but can't find an excuse to get one. To make it more interesting you can have the loser either pick where the tattoo will be or what the tattoo will be. If they choose what the tattoo will be then at least they know they won’t have to walk around with a shameful, disgusting icon of their failure (unless that's what they're into). On the other hand if they choose where the tattoo will be then they can pick a spot where it can be easily hidden and revealed whenever they want to tell a great story—but be aware of the evil creative minds out there who might find a tattoo so disgusting and distasteful it might never see the light of day. It really is a gamble, but so is Fantasy Football, right?
3. The "Loser Gets Handcuffed To a Dwarf For an Entire Party League"
Okay this might sound crazy but its actually popular in the UK for stag parties. Seriously, they have a service for this. The little guy will even dress up in a costume. A cop, a hobbit, superman—anything specific to the loser of your league would be perfect and make for an unforgettable party.
4. The "Loser Has No Control of Their Personal Appearance For a Week League"
Dull scissor haircuts, thrift sale bargain clothes, demeaning facial hair designs, and inappropriately layered outfits are all something to be considered when deciding what the loser is going to look like each day for a week. Almost anything is fair game except for anything offensive that may land them in prison or without a job (but they probably already don’t have a job, they’re a loser).
5. The "Laundry League"
Adding insult to injury is definitely the most important thing a league can do when punishing their loser. This one is great because the loser has to wash their teammates’ jerseys time and time again, serving as a constant reminder of the great shame they now live with. Particularly nasty teammates will often spend a much longer period of time in certain articles of clothing where excessive sweating leaves their shirts and pants ripe and long overdue for a wash. How cruel.
6. The "Beer B**** League"
Every time your group of friends get together they can now request the loser bring them a beer at any moments notice. The loser might even become so accustomed to this role that after their punishment is complete they might accidentally ask things like “Hey, does anyone want a beer?” **Everyone raises their hand**.
7. The "Self-Improvement League"
This is a league where you can make the loser undertake a class, certification or a new responsibility. Commonly this will be an something that the loser does not have any interest in whatsoever such as getting their CPR certification, adopting a highway or applying for a vehicle license they don't need. Not only does it waste their precious time but it also adds another skill to their repertoire that won't ever serve them well, much like their skill in Fantasy Football.
8. The "Vegas League"
This is for those leagues who have unreal expectations as to what their experiences should be when they party. Inspired by television shows and movies, the loser must plan some outlandish event for the team, most commonly set in Vegas. This event will mainly feature gambling and drinking but it is expected that something crazy and remarkable will occur--somewhere between finding a baby and kidnapping a tiger.
Most of these punishments aren't for dainty, dorky leagues. They are for the leagues who take football seriously and are disgusted by petty high-fiving and amiable trade proposals. Take your league to the next level with these punishments and watch the competition grow fierce as you battle your way far from the dark, unforgiving depths of last place.
