Millennials: the greatest generation? Or the only generation?
While this debate has gone on for centuries, one thing is for sure: older folks just don’t get millennials! You would not believe some of the things I’ve heard about me and my brethren. If you were born before 1990, maybe this list will clear up some common misconceptions – all of which I’ve had to face in my own life!
1. We only know about things that came out during our lifetime.
2. We spend all our time watching Netflix. 
If our parents had instant access to thousands of movies and TV shows when they were our age, they would have spent even more time on there than we do!
3. We were responsible for the murder of chemistry teacher Scott Hunter on May 3, 2013.
Are you serious??? I haven’t talked to Scott in years! Was I a little mad that he didn’t give me a passing grade in AP Chem and I had to repeat senior year? Sure. But that doesn’t mean I killed the guy!
4. We don’t care about our schoolwork.
Obviously I didn’t kill Mr. Hunter. On May 3, 2013, I was home all day studying for my AP Chem final, which I somehow didn’t pass even though I made flash cards and took practice quizzes and studied for it all damn weekend, but whatever!
5. We spend all our time inside.
Anyway, when I wasn’t studying, I was at Home Depot buying some supplies for a personal gardening project. (Millenials love to garden!) But the jerk at the counter wouldn’t let me buy ten bags of fertilizer because apparently it contains materials that can be used to make explosives-grade ammonium nitrate. So it’s illegal for a budding gardener to buy some fertilizer for his azaleas, but it’s totally legal for a chemistry teacher to give his students a final with a bunch of questions on things from the book that we didn’t even cover in class? Great job, America.
6. We have no practical skills.
This one drives me crazy! If millennials didn’t have any practical skills, tell me how I was able to monitor Mr. Hunter’s house for days to figure out when he leaves his car unattended. Explain how I was able to construct an elaborate explosive device (no thanks to those jerks at Home Depot) and leave it in his Subaru overnight. Sure, I may not know how to work a clock radio, but I know how awful it feels to watch your friends and classmates graduate while you’re forced to repeat the 12th grade because of an unfair chemistry final. And I know how satisfying it feels to exact revenge on the man who made it happen.
7. We have no sense of humor.
LOL disregard that last part! I was totally goofing LMAO!!!
8. We spend all our time on social media.
I’m actually going to be disconnecting all forms of social media and traveling to an undisclosed country for a few weeks. Don’t try to contact me.
Burn in hell, Mr. Hunter.
