1. OMG. There's a guy across the bar that looks exactly like...
2. Oh CRAP! That's totally him.
3. Do I look okay?
4. I need to look hotter than the last time he saw me.
5. I'm just kidding. Is that even possible? #hairflip
6. But really, I probably should have worn my other top.
7. Damn, he still looks really good.
8. Why isn't he fat yet?!
9. Do you think he noticed me?
10. I wonder if his girlfriend is fat.
11. She didn't look fat on Facebook...
12. She's probably really stupid.
13. Now that I've been staring at him for like five minutes, he looks a little different than my ex-boyfriend.
14. Wait, is that even him?
15. Yep. Totally him.
16. He's probably drinking his sorrows away because he misses me.
17. I don't blame him; I would miss me too.
18. I should look like I'm having fun.
19. Start laughing.
20. Now I look like something is wrong with me.
21. Stop laughing.
22. Seriously, stop.
23. Why can't I stop laughing?!
24. Oh great, now he saw me.
25. This is so awkward.
26. Like, more awkward than the time that I had toilet paper on my shoe for 20 minutes.
27. Why did no one tell me about the toilet paper?
28. I hate my friends.
29. Maybe I should start flirting with this guy next to me.
30. I am single and ready to mingle!
31. Heyyyyyyy hottie.
32. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.
33. That's the creep from Geometry that hits on me in class.
34. Please stop telling me that I'm "acute".
35. NO ONE likes geometry pick-up lines.
36. Unless you're a geometry major. In which case, I apologize.
37. Now he's talking to me about shapes.
38. I'm going to tell him that I have to go to the restroom.
39. P.S. I don't really have to pee.
40. Okay, I'm in the restroom. Now, mirror check!
41. I am a little more drunk that I thought, but I look gooooooood.
42. I'm gonna go talk to my ex.
43. No I'm not.
44. Maybe I'll just fix my lipstick and do a casual walk by.
45. This way, he'll see what he's missing out on.
46. One more quick glance in the mirror, aaaaaaaaaand let's go.
47. It's working. He's totally checking me out.
48. Where's your new girlfriend at tonight?
49. She would be totally jealous right now. HA!
50. I think his friend just winked at me.
51. Helllloooooo hot new guy.
52. Wait, my ex is still staring at me.
53. Is he...laughing?
54. Why is he laughing?!
55. Did I not zip my pants?
56. Is my makeup messed up?
57. I'm going to casually take a selfie.
58. Nope. I look great!
59. WHY ARE THEY ALL LAUGHING?
60. Oh. My. God.
61. This can't be happening!
62. There's toilet paper stuck to my heel, AGAIN.
63. I am going home and crying into my pillow.
64. Tonight, I'm going home with two guys instead of just one.
65. Their names are Ben and Jerry.
66. Now that I'm back at my house, I'm never going out in public again.
67. Before I start my Netflix marathon, let me check his Facebook page one last time.
68. Let's see... relationship status...
69. This is the best news ever.
70. His girlfriend dumped him.
71. HAHAHAHA what a loser!
72. I win.
