If you’ve flown on a plane chances are you’ve been relegated to the middle seat at least once. If you have yet to experience all that the middle seat of an airplane has to offer, congrats you're doing something right. Either way, here are some helpful tips to make your passenger sandwich the best possible experience.
1. Shrink yourself
Leave the oversize coats and purses at home. Anything that can’t fit under the seat, in your lap, or in the overhead compartments has no place with you in the middle seat. (You do not want to be the one oozing onto your neighbors.)
2. Set boundaries
Before that plane hits the runway for takeoff, you better have those armrests firmly locked in place. Mark your territory, because if you don’t act fast, those little handlebar boundary lines will be fair game for your new fellow neighbors. It’s a dog eat dog world when it comes to elbowing out the armrest competition and its every man (and woman) for themselves.
3. Stay in your seat
After you’ve marked your territory, prepare to settle in for the flight. No one really wants to use those airplane bathrooms anyway but if you do, make sure it’s an emergency. No one wants a stranger climbing over him or her like a children’s jungle gym at thirty thousand feet. (Well, most people don’t.)
4. Come prepared
No matter the length of the flight, it’s always good to bring some form of entertainment to pass the time. Headphones are a must if you’re not in the market for new friends. Bringing a book, movie, or game of Sudoku can not only make the flight seem faster and more enjoyable, but it may also double as row bonding for you and your two new over-the-shoulder-looking "best friends".
6. Stay awake
Snacks are important and sometimes those micro packs of peanuts and pretzels just don’t cut it. If you choose to BYOS (Bring Your Own Snacks) beware that crunchy things run the risk of spewing crumbs and that sticky/cheesy fingers and airplane folding trays don’t mix. Also, while you may have been taught that sharing is caring, don’t make eye contact unless you intend to loose half your stash to your seatmates.
6. Stay Awake
Unless you want to wake up with your head intimately acquainted with the shoulder of the person next to you, stay awake at all costs. (Even if that means tossing back shots of watered down airplane coffee.)
7. Avoid being a human pillow
If you find yourself in a position wear you’re being used a pillow you have three options. One is to gently nudge and encourage them to rest their head in a different direction. The second is to take it as an invitation for a cuddle. And the third, if the situation calls for it, is to utilize all methods necessary to put an end to their drool fountain snooze fest.
Happy Flying!
