"We all have to go, so why not enjoy the go" may work well for Charmin toilet paper but 100% does not apply to the commuter life. We do all have to go; we all have to step outside the house in 20 degree weather to brave the subway or railroad; we all have to commute to class or to work, unless of course, you manage a stressful leotard company from home because your middle child is a dancer (your Lyft driver's entire life history becomes relevant at the weirdest of times). But we can't all be housewife and entrepreneur Susan (or Karen, or whatever her name was), so most of us have to travel every morning and every evening to get to where we need to go, and absolutely no one enjoys this go. The instinct is always to eliminate it or shorten it or make it less painful by any increment because the events that occur on a daily basis in mid-commute make you think of murder and your warm bed at home.
1. "I could be in bed right now."
Usually, this sentiment is followed by a string of expletives.
2. "I should have called out."
You've already missed this class twice. You have a specific assignment waiting for you at work that you need to take care of. You really shouldn't, but the little monkey goblin in your brain is screaming at you to send your professor an email and go back to bed. Thank god you're already at the station- talk about a point of no return.
3. "The train is late...again."
I am so...shocked...couldn't have possibly predicted this...what a surprise. I wasn't expecting this at all, it's not like this train comes late more often than it comes on time.
4. "Train cancellations...revolutionary."
Honestly, you knew it would be drizzling today; you should have expected this. God forbid transit should function in such extraordinarily dangerous conditions.
5. "Move."
This applies both to the crowd that is taking forever to step into the train and to the train itself as it sits idly between stations because of "train traffic." Or more accurately because it can sense that you're late to class.
6. *Internal screaming*
Applicable to situations when you get stuck behind a slow walker and to days where every single train you take on your four-train commute has in some way messed up.
7. "I'll just Uber."
It's too early in the morning to deal with mass transit; save your nerves and take the L.
