7 Responses To The "Is that Your Real Hair?" Question

7 Responses To The "Is that Your Real Hair?" Question

If you've been asked, here's what to say...
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I'm about to get real with you. Like extremely real. Because a woman's hair is a very personal part of herself whether she grew it or not. I don't like having to explain my hair to people just because it's different, but I have had to explain my hair at every stage of my life so far. So this article is for the girl who wears a weave and is tired of being asked "Is that yours?

1. Yes, it's mine... I paid for it.

Before you tell me that doesn't count, do the clothes you are wearing not belong to you? What about your car or your cell phone. You call those things yours because you bought them. If it's on my head, it belongs to me so back off. So what I didn't grow it, it's still mine!

2. No, you CAN'T Touch It.

I don't care how pretty it is. Ask for permission first and it is not given. Guess what... don't touch it. Maybe it needs to be redone. Maybe it's a wig and if you are too heavy-handed it will end up in your hands. Or maybe just maybe I don't want your hands all up in what belongs to me. Back off!

3. You don't need to refer to it as "Her/Your/That" Weave

I am fully aware that it is not my actual hair. It baffles your mind because you grew all the pretty hair out of your pretty head and you don't understand why I have to buy it. You for some reason feel like you have to remind me constantly that it is not mine. Guess what... I'm Aware. Calling it a weave is not the "proper" way to name it. It's hair! Call it hair. I wouldn't go up to a woman with implants and say your silicone or even your implants look great today. They are now a part of her and should be addressed as such. Same goes for my hair.

4. I AM ALLOWED TO WEAR A WIG

If I want to have a bob one day and long wavy hair the next I can do that because of the wonderful thing that is a wig. They are versatile and allow me to have several looks without damaging my hair. I again don't need to be reminded it is a wig or asked if it's a wig because honestly, that's none of your business. You know my hair didn't change over night. I know my hair didn't change over night. Let's take this knowledge and not ask me if I'm wearing a wig.

5. I don't need to explain anything about my hair to you.

Listen baby, You don't know my hair story. You don't know what I've gone through. You might not understand African-American hair (not that African-American's are the only ones who wear weaves cause that's not true at all. Know the facts!) and honestly, I'm not trying to educate everyone. Especially since most of you don't care. You are just asking me all these questions about my hair without the maturity to handle what I have to say and therefore you end up making me become vulnerable for no reason. If you really want to know so that you don't offend anyone in the future, I'll be as open as possible but if you're just asking to ask, REFRAIN.

6. I don't want your sob stories about how long your hair is.

This is honestly just me being bitter. The bitterness is out of love, but still bitter. But to be fair, you complaining about how long your hair is to me is kind of like a rich person complaining to a poor person about how much money they have and how great their life is. Know your audience is all I'm saying.

7. I DO THIS THING CALLED: WHAT I WANT

If I want to wear box braids guess what I will. If I want to wear a weave or wig... I will. If I want faux locks (which I have now) I will. I will do what I want with my hair because a) I'm paying for it, b) it's going on my head and c) I shouldn't have to explain further. You can give me suggestions but ultimately if I ignore you I reserve that right. I don't tell you how to style your hair because I don't know how much money you have to spend on it, or the proper way to take care of your particular hair, also you're not me so why does what I say matter? It doesn't you said? You would be correct.

I hope you all read this in a humorous tone and not an angry one because I'm not mad, I'm just tired of having to explain something that has nothing to do with the people who ask. I love you all and hope that this article helped someone. If you get bombarded with questions, direct them to this article. If you ask too many questions, read this and then ask yourself why you are so curious. If it's genuine I'd be happy to answer questions. If not... then just stop.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!
Cover Image Credit: flickr

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10 Outfits Every College Girl Wears To Class At Least Once

You can thank me later.
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It's happened on more than one occasion.

The occasion of being called out more than once for dressing down for class and by "down" I mean some of the haters we hate to love claiming that they can't see the shorts we're wearing under the oversized band tee on our way to class.

Contrary to popular belief, yes I'm not oblivious to how my choice of outfits for class tends to shift on the more comfortable side and yes, I am aware that it looks like I'm not wearing pants, I like it that way.

Every girl in college wears what they feel is comfortable enough to wear in a 2-hour lecture and these are my ideas of comfort.

1. The infamous oversized tee with Nike shorts.

I'll say it right now, I have a variety of assorted Soffee and Nike shorts that I pair with almost every oversized tee I own and it's my go-to for those 8 AM math lectures.

2. Oversized tee with leggings and riding boots.

Once the first red, yellow and orange leaf is found on campus grounds, you know you're about to see a swarm of college girls, like me, sporting riding boots in every shade of brown. Jeans optional.

3. Oversized tee with leggings and rain boots.

Once the first rainfall hits campus, you better believe you'll see this same 'fit paired with Hunter boots in almost every color.

4. The "I'm going to the gym right after class, I SWEAR" look.

Whether or not I have plans to go to the gym after class or not, I'm probably in my gym gear 4 times of the week and I'm not ashamed by it.

5. Jeans.

I've always had a hate/hate relationship with wearing jeans when I absolutely do not have to and here's why: they make my derriere completely disappear. When (and if) you catch me wearing jeans in lecture hall it's probably because someone paid me a large sum of money to do so.

6. Your boyfriend's flannel paired with... you guessed it, your favorite pair of leggings.

This is probably one of the many flannels I've stolen from my boyfriend and certainly not the last one. Paired with another favorite standard black leggings, you can't go wrong with this outfit to snooze in.

7. The baseball hat and quarter zip ensemble.

One of my all times favorites, you can't go wrong with a zipper up 3x too big for your body and a baseball hat you honestly forgot where you got it from. We also can't forget our infamous black leggings.

8. Your "walk of shame" outfit.

Now, this doesn't mean you roll up to Intro to Psychology wearing what you wore to the lacrosse mixer the night before, no. This is more of the outfit you so quickly had to throw on in a span of two minutes because you left so and so's apartment downtown an hour too late.

9. A v-neck.

Another one of my favorites.

10. Dresses (or anything even relatively formal).

Disclaimer: I personally would never come to class wearing this but gigantic kudos to cute a** girls that do decide to wear this because you look good.

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My Hair Journey After Box Bleaching My Hair

Although it may seem cheap and easy, the reality of box bleaching your hair is disastrous. Professionals, this article is dedicated to you.

nadoty
nadoty
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In 2017, I made the disastrous decision to box bleach my hair that I am still paying for today.

It seemed cheap, easy, and was something fun I could do at midnight. Little did I know, this would be a choice that I would still be regretting to this day. Besides the awful reality of box bleaching your hair, such as the chemicals in store hair dye already being disastrous for your hair, if you don't know what you're doing you not only run the risk of damaging your hair, having your hair fall out, but could also seriously hurting your scalp.

Follow me on my hair journey over the past two years and use this article to look back on if you're ever bored and in need for a change. Wait to go to a salon!

May 23rd, 2017.

Nichole Doty

I like to call this moment the calm before the storm. Back in 2017, I had long dark hair. I loved my hair and was very proud of how long I grew it. This is the longest my hair had ever been at this point in my life, and I absolutely loved it.

July 31st, 2017.

Nichole Doty

This was the day that everything changed. I made the terrible decision to not only box bleach my hair but to add box pink hair dye on the underneath of it. Not only did it look terrible, but it was also an irreversible decision that was made that I would have to live with for the next few years to come.

August 12th, 2017.

Kasey Bauner, (kasey_bauner via instagram), who works at Jay Marie Salon and Spa in Schereville, was able to save my hair in a beautiful way.

Nichole Doty

HALLELUJAH! My hot mess was fixed! Through hours and hundreds of dollars later spent at the salon, they were able to salvage my hair without shaving all of it off!

December 9th, 2017.

Nichole Doty

A few months later, after some length came in, that's when the roots started to appear. After the first glace at the outgrowth, I knew that I would have to keep chopping my hair until the roots fully grew out.

January 5th, 2018.

Nichole Doty

This was the first big chop I had to do since the box bleach disaster I did to my head. I knew that I didn't want to dye my hair back to its original color, so this began my repetitive cycle of hair growing out, getting a drastic chop, and growing it out again.

July 5th, 2018.

Nichole Doty

In July, my hair started to show more length since I had to originally chop it. My roots were starting to come in the dark so I had to try and wear hairstyles that would discretely cover how much my hair had grown.

August 31st, 2018.

Another big chop when school started in the fall of 2018. There's something so disappointing about having to keep growing out your hair just to chop it, but unfortunately, that's what I signed up for when I got myself into this mess.

November 29th, 2018.

At this point, my roots looked terrible. From the back of my head, the roots were growing towards the middle. I had to keep reminding myself that I couldn't see the back of my head so I could gracefully ignore how terrible it looked. Aside from this awful outgrowth I had going on, the color in my hair was starting to settle into a yellow mess.

January 31st, 2019.

Nichole Doty

As if I didn't learn my lesson from the first time, I started to experiment with different colors. I used the L'Oreal Colorista Semi-Permanent dye. I will say, though, this really is the most Semi-Permanent dye I have ever used as it would fully wash out in two weeks without any traces of color left behind.

April 25th, 2019.

I felt as though if I added different colors to my hair it would make the roots look more natural. As it did, I do NOT recommend the Kiss Tintation hair dye. This was the most patchy dye I have ever used, although I did love the blue.

May 12th, 2019.

Nichole Doty

As of just a few weeks ago, my hair was a big green mess. The dye would not leave my hair, so I started to panic that I really messed up this time. I could no longer wait at this point as I felt the frantic need to chop my hair.

May 23rd, 2019.

Nichole Doty

Here we have it! At the end of my journey thus far, I have managed to almost have all of my natural colors back! Although there are some green strands still left behind, I am mostly back to a full head of hair being the same color.

Overall, I want this article to serve as a warning to those who are like me and don't think through decisions properly. I'm the type of person when I want something I want it at that exact moment no matter what. My rash decision has led to poor self esteem and issues throughout these past two years. Am I being dramatic? Maybe. Maybe I'm like you who feels as though your hair is a big part of your identity and who you are as a person. Thank you for following my hair journey and remember: ALWAYS think through big decisions properly and wait to go to a salon to get your hair done!

nadoty
nadoty

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