7 Responses To The "Is that Your Real Hair?" Question

7 Responses To The "Is that Your Real Hair?" Question

If you've been asked, here's what to say...

I'm about to get real with you. Like extremely real. Because a woman's hair is a very personal part of herself whether she grew it or not. I don't like having to explain my hair to people just because it's different, but I have had to explain my hair at every stage of my life so far. So this article is for the girl who wears a weave and is tired of being asked "Is that yours?

1. Yes, it's mine... I paid for it.

Before you tell me that doesn't count, do the clothes you are wearing not belong to you? What about your car or your cell phone. You call those things yours because you bought them. If it's on my head, it belongs to me so back off. So what I didn't grow it, it's still mine!

2. No, you CAN'T Touch It.

I don't care how pretty it is. Ask for permission first and it is not given. Guess what... don't touch it. Maybe it needs to be redone. Maybe it's a wig and if you are too heavy-handed it will end up in your hands. Or maybe just maybe I don't want your hands all up in what belongs to me. Back off!

3. You don't need to refer to it as "Her/Your/That" Weave

I am fully aware that it is not my actual hair. It baffles your mind because you grew all the pretty hair out of your pretty head and you don't understand why I have to buy it. You for some reason feel like you have to remind me constantly that it is not mine. Guess what... I'm Aware. Calling it a weave is not the "proper" way to name it. It's hair! Call it hair. I wouldn't go up to a woman with implants and say your silicone or even your implants look great today. They are now a part of her and should be addressed as such. Same goes for my hair.


If I want to have a bob one day and long wavy hair the next I can do that because of the wonderful thing that is a wig. They are versatile and allow me to have several looks without damaging my hair. I again don't need to be reminded it is a wig or asked if it's a wig because honestly, that's none of your business. You know my hair didn't change over night. I know my hair didn't change over night. Let's take this knowledge and not ask me if I'm wearing a wig.

5. I don't need to explain anything about my hair to you.

Listen baby, You don't know my hair story. You don't know what I've gone through. You might not understand African-American hair (not that African-American's are the only ones who wear weaves cause that's not true at all. Know the facts!) and honestly, I'm not trying to educate everyone. Especially since most of you don't care. You are just asking me all these questions about my hair without the maturity to handle what I have to say and therefore you end up making me become vulnerable for no reason. If you really want to know so that you don't offend anyone in the future, I'll be as open as possible but if you're just asking to ask, REFRAIN.

6. I don't want your sob stories about how long your hair is.

This is honestly just me being bitter. The bitterness is out of love, but still bitter. But to be fair, you complaining about how long your hair is to me is kind of like a rich person complaining to a poor person about how much money they have and how great their life is. Know your audience is all I'm saying.


If I want to wear box braids guess what I will. If I want to wear a weave or wig... I will. If I want faux locks (which I have now) I will. I will do what I want with my hair because a) I'm paying for it, b) it's going on my head and c) I shouldn't have to explain further. You can give me suggestions but ultimately if I ignore you I reserve that right. I don't tell you how to style your hair because I don't know how much money you have to spend on it, or the proper way to take care of your particular hair, also you're not me so why does what I say matter? It doesn't you said? You would be correct.

I hope you all read this in a humorous tone and not an angry one because I'm not mad, I'm just tired of having to explain something that has nothing to do with the people who ask. I love you all and hope that this article helped someone. If you get bombarded with questions, direct them to this article. If you ask too many questions, read this and then ask yourself why you are so curious. If it's genuine I'd be happy to answer questions. If not... then just stop.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease!
Cover Image Credit: flickr

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What To Expect For Your First Brazilian Wax

Be informed and do it right the first time!


It's going to hurt like hell, you're going to swear to yourself you're never going to go through with it again, and that you've betrayed your razor. Just like the pain, these feelings will subside.

Before The Appointment.

First things first girl, you must let your hair grow out very long. Ideally, it should be longer than a grain of rice. Absolutely do not shave two to three weeks before since the wax will have a harder time gripping onto short hair, likely leaving it behind. When I hear Brazilian, I think bare. Hairs left behind defies the whole point of a Brazilian, so please just wait.

Next, you should exfoliate the area a day or two before your appointment. Exfoliation will remove the dead skin around the follicle, making hair removal a tad easier.

Right Before.

Now, it's the day of your long-awaited Brazilian appointment. Shower, which is self-explanatory and a nice gesture for your dignity and much appreciated from your esthetician, though do not exfoliate. That will irritate the area before the waxing even begins. It will help to take an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen. Yes, it will still hurt, but it will help.

During The Wax.

During the session, relax. Your esthetician should guide you in deep breaths and knows techniques to minimize the pain.

Personally, I love going to the salon because it's like a free therapy session. You can vent and talk about anything and they'll likely listen and give you their opinion, or silently judge. They're already seeing every bit of you, so nothing seems off the table, but proceed with caution and just be yourself.

When the wax is over, they will apply a cooling crème, gel, oil, or other product to soothe the stressed skin.

After Care.

After the appointment, it's crucial to be aware that everyone's skin heals at different rates. It's also likely you will develop little white bumps from waxing. To inhibit ingrown hairs from forming, I've found that applying Thayer's witch hazel, or another witch-hazel toner without alcohol helps the healing process immensely. Then, top it with a hydrocortisone cream. It helps with redness and swelling. If you don't have witch hazel, that's perfectly fine. Just proceed with hydrocortisone cream and an ice pack if needed.

I'm aware that these after-care instructions make a Brazilian sound like a terrible self-inflicted experience, but I can assure you'll be going back for more. After the bumps subside, you will love the smooth skin, the ability to hit the pool without the worry of "Did I shave?" In a way, I'd compare the experience to giving birth, but way less painful. Yes, it hurts, but women are strong. They become pros at childbirth, and soon, you'll become a pro at Brazilians.

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