1. They may try to put other people’s needs before their own

There is something very rewarding about giving to others. It is very purpose-giving and validating. Just ensure you help them to replenish their spirits to keep them from running dry. There needs to be reciprocation.

2. They may try to avoid conflict - even healthy argument

With so much going on inside their head, it would only make sense that they would make an effort to keep things in their relationships harmonious. Unfortunately, this can lead to the avoidance of necessary discussion or compromise. To a certain extent, a bit of debate in a relationship is very healthy. Disagreement between two people is inevitable, and should be addressed rather than suppressed. Otherwise, they could face the risk of the dispute resurfacing later at a higher magnitude.

3. Take it seriously when they open up to you

When a person opens up about their mental illness to their partner, it’s a good indication of a high level of trust. This dependence should not be abused, nor should their depression be used against them.

4. They’re not looking for help

While it’s important to feel comfortable opening up to your partner, dating shouldn’t be done with the intention of having a personal therapist. And to assume that you can help them is condescending and disrespectful. And also false. Leave that up to a professional therapist. The best thing a person can do for a hurting partner would be to just offer love and support.

5. They may feel undeserving of love

It may be easy to buy into the lie of “you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself first.” This is so untrue. Some people will battle depression their whole lives. So the day may never even come where a person can declare a healthy amount of self-love. A person should never have to endure an entire lifetime of feeling like their emotions aren’t valid. Those who struggle with depression and anxiety often are the ones that have the most love to give.

6. Don’t be offended if they’re still depressed while they’re dating you

Another person is not a cure. It’s not anybody’s fault, and it should not be viewed that way. It’s very possible to maintain a healthy relationship when a person is depressed. They can be ‘happy with the relationship’ without being ‘happy.’ There is a difference.

7. There isn’t always a “why”

Some depression is situational or triggered by a recent event. Others just suffer chronically and without any specific reason. Genetically, some are just more prone to personality disorders. It can become very frustrating when asked ‘why you’re depressed.’ That’s not a question that can be answered, and can make a person feel guilty for not knowing how to explain their condition.