It’s so weird because I love being home more than anything. I find comfort in shutting the world out, staying in a dark room with my comfiest blanket and binge watching my favorite show for an entire weekend, but come Sunday, I go into this dark place like I’ve never seen light before, and I almost find myself with this new sense of anxiety about starting my week over.
Strange right?
It’s so odd to me because I countdown for the weekend, but often times find myself feeling the most relieved when I’m not home for too long.
I have found it much easier to deal with this by realizing when being home for too long starts to become a bad thing.
1. I start to analyze every part of the house I should probably fix or redecorate
-This either leads to two different moods: A full blow out of spending money, where I shop until I’m not capable of shopping anymore, and redecorate an area of the house (that most likely) didn’t need redecorating
Or two:
A really annoyed mood because I want it done but have zero interest in moving from the spot I’m in to get any of it looking how I want to.
2.) The dog hair around me makes me feel like there’s not one part of the space I’m in that is not consumed by it.
I have a lot of dogs, but I’ve found even people who have one, are constantly facing the daily struggle of having dog hair present on them at some point in the day. Now imagine not leaving your house for a few days and watching it accumulate, and even if you clean it, you turn around and there’s another pile. Then before you know it, you’re eating your food and are telling yourself— “out of all the dog hair that consumes this house, I guarantee one will find it’s way into my mouth while I’m eating this..”
Then... you eat it anyway.Dog hair has definitely driven me to my breaking point a few times, but it’s not nearly as bad as..
Number 3.) Feeling like an antisocial freak because you aren’t out socializing but instead are putting yourself in the Netflix series you’ve binged for 48 straight hours.
"What if I were Tara... would I leave Jax? Or do I deal with his shit because his body is carved like an italian god??"
I’m actually one of "those" people that openly admits she likes her quiet time, and has no hesitations on letting anyone know that the “bar scene” isn’t exactly “my scene”.. but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out a little on friend time when I hide away all weekend.
Number 4.)
Actually asking myself when I’m going back to work.
and this is a weird one for me because I’m always torn between wanting to go back to work then feeling this blip of a subconscious scream- “BUT WAIT, HOW WILL WE KNOW WHO ELENA CHOOSES ON VAMPIRE DIARIES IF I GO BACK TO WORK, STAY HOME!”
Then I’m home another day, feet restless, and brain scattered because all my mind wants to do is move my body, but all my body wants to do is not work either.
Hence the continued indecisiveness.
Number 5.)
How much have I eaten this weekend?
Staying home is the easiest place to get food and at whatever point you want. Honestly sometimes I lose track of what time it is or what time I last ate, but by the end of the weekend I’m feeling heavier than I started this weekend out, which makes me aim to get out of the house even more.
6.) What day is it today?
This question gets asked more than it should, but sometimes on work vacations or summer vacations I genuinely lose track of the days. Sometimes they just all run together and more often than not I’m stuck asking myself this question.
Then eventually I scream at myself to get my shit together-
And I repeat the process for the billionth time.
7.) When do I get to leave again?
Sometimes I’ll even make excuses to leave the house if I’ve been there for too long. Like, “oh I think big lots is having a sale, and maybe I can get some food for when I stay home all night tonight and eat my life away.”
You know..
Something like that.
Whatever the reason is, I normally talk myself into leaving the house, only to count down the weekends to when I'm comfortably relaxing in my dark room, comfy chair, just to do the same thing again.
