You're bored, you've scrolled through all your social media accounts eight times, there's nothing good on TV, and all of your friends are busy, so you decide to just casually open up the website for your favorite store. You tell yourself you're just going to look.
But do you ever only browse? Maybe once or twice you've somehow magically possessed the willpower to add a couple of items to your wishlist and then move on, but we all know that's not usually the case. Online shopping is a rollercoaster ride of emotions — "That top is sooo cute, but I need to save money, but it's sooo cute!"
We've all been there. We've all experienced the 7 stages of online shopping.
1. Shock
OMG! They've added sooo many cute things! Why wasn't any of this available when I actually had spending money?! NO WAY! That top I really loved is back in stock! Why does this always happen to me?!
2. Denial
OK, get it together. None of this is even that cute. I just like it because I'm bored. I can control myself. I won't buy anything because I'm a responsible adult with adult responsibilities. I mean that's such an ugly color. Who would even wear a red off the shoulder top with ruffles? Not you. No way. Nope. Not happening. Not today, honey.
3. Anger
UGH! YES, I WOULD WEAR THAT! WHO AM I KIDDING? IT'S SO CUTE! I NEED IT! NOW! WHY DID I EVEN COME TO THIS SITE? I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! IT ALWAYS HAPPENS! I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL! I AM POWERLESS WHEN IT COMES TO OFF THE SHOULDER TOPS! I HATE THE INTERNET! *forcefully slams laptop shut*
4. Bargaining
OK. If I don't buy Starbucks at all for the next two weeks, then I'd have enough money to buy these 4 tops, 2 pairs of shorts, 3 chokers, and I'll still be able to pay my rent at the end of the month. Wait, I'm only $12 away from free shipping. Well, there was that super cute cardigan. And it was on clearance. I'd have to spend the money on shipping anyway right? I'll just get these few things and I won't buy any more clothes for the rest of the year. Yeah, that works.
5. Depression
No, it doesn't. It doesn't work. I can't buy any of this! Why do I have to be so responsible? Why do I have to be an adult? I just want all of this so badly! That top... it's so — sobs — cuuuuuuute!!! I'm never going to shop ever again. What's the point? I'll just wear these pajamas for the rest of my life.
6. Reflection
No. Stop it! You're better than this! You can figure this out! Okay, so do I actually like this shirt? Not really. Let's remove it. What about this one? I mean, I have one that's almost identical to it in my closet. Delete. Now, do I really need three chokers? I already have like 12. Okay, I'll just get the one I like the most - this one! Look at you! Figuring stuff out! See, you're responsible! You're an adult! You're a problem solver! YASSSSS QUEEN! Alright, now what about these shorts? Well, it's almost winter, so they'll probably have a huge sale on summer clothes soon, I can just save up some money and buy them then. Hey! Look at that! I cut my total in half!
7. Acceptance
Alright! You did it! Now, all there's left to do is hit confirm! Done! Wow, I really am an adult. Now, when it's gonna get here? I'm so ready to try everything on!
