7 Signs You Go To The Typical Christian College
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7 Signs You Go To The Typical Christian College

"Open Dorms"

7 Signs You Go To The Typical Christian College
Kaboom Pics

Going to a Christian college has it's highs and lows. Here are some of the most all-too-relatable moments from my personal experiences that I thought needed to be roasted.

1. "Let's get coffee!"

All day. Everyday. Since your not partying on the weekends, you will probably find yourself sitting in coffee shops doing homework. Or if someone wants to get to know you better, coffee dates are a very common occurrence. You think not drinking in college is hard? Try telling a bunch of hipster Christians that you don't drink coffee. The peer pressure is real.

2. MOG = "Man of God."

"But is he a MOG?", "I'm waiting on my MOG", the pressure to date at a christian college is all too REAL. First semester people are pairing off left and right, and although not every boy will care about whether his girlfriend really loves the Lord so many girls are waiting on their MOG. Know the cringe lingo, you'll be hearing this a lot.

Everybody's fighting for the MOG because of the underlying pressure of...

3. "Ring by spring."

The christian girl dream: meet your MOG freshman year, build a strong relationship for four years, ring by spring of senior year. It is the algorithm the christian colleges have created, and the pressure to lock that down is insane. Ring by spring is real, and it is scary.

4. "I'm praying for you."

Karen is so rude, we need to be praying for her." BUT ARE WE ACTUALLY? You can be having the worst day and some fake girl will hit you with the "Aw I'm sorry, I'm praying for you!" This can come off so insincere. Take my advice and find some people who will actually pray for you and not play any of these games.

5. Open dorms.

If you are one of those people who doesn't have the MOG or the ring by spring, open dorms will be your least favorite thing. Nothing like running into that boy from your math on your way to your nasty communal bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and flip flops. Or how about when you're trying to study or sleep and all you can hear is girls obnoxiously screaming or laughing with their boyfriends for hours. You're not supposed to be here, go home. Because as soon as 9pm hits Lord knows I will be escorting all these thirsty boys out the door.

6. “Hey guys! This summer I have the opportunity to go on a mission trip…”

"You can help out by praying or donating, whatever you feel you need to do!" Let's be real here. Are we paying for you to help the less fortunate in a poor community, or for you to get a cool Instagram picture of you riding an elephant? I am all for missions trips, but to ask me to give you money when you already know my wallet is empty makes me uncomfortable and I would like it to stop.

7. Trying to find a way to get all of your chapel credits without actually having to go to chapel.

… 10 minutes before the 9am chapel you told yourself you needed to go to

You might love chapel the first two weeks of your first semester, but that will quickly ware off when you realize how many times you are going to have to do this all semester in order to not get FINED. I'm sorry, but how do you expect me to go to chapel three times week, church on Sunday and still balance a job? Also, be a full-time college student? I think not. These expectations are unrealistic and offensive. I'm going back to bed.


At the end of the day, attending a Christian school is such a good experience. You're able to make so many memories without making bad choices. You build relationships with people that will last a lifetime and the professors will extend so much grace and genuinely care about you. So, I think it's safe to say we can laugh at all these things and continue to love our days at our little Christian colleges.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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