here's something wonderfully expensive about living in New York. But, as they say, you get what you pay for. Access to some of the world's best schools, best museums, and best restaurants, it's no wonder the sales tax is close to 10%! It's also no wonder, then, that the cost of a MetroCard swipe keeps rising, what with all the wonderful new improvements being made to the system at the cost of millions of nearly-three dollar charges made daily. It's not inflation boys and girls, it's just evident in the wonderful services they provide in the most efficient and pleasant manner. So here I have compiled a list of 7 reasons that I love the MTA, and you should too!
1. They Always Come At The Right Time
If it's a challenge you want, then it's a challenge you'll get. If you're like me and you make three transfers before arriving at your destination (EVERY MORNING), you probably also really appreciate how it's almost as if the MTA times it so that even though the train you're getting off of and the train you're getting onto are often being ridden by the same group of people, neither will give any consideration to how efficient your transfer could be but won't be. Did that train just ride away with two people in it as a swarm of 200 frustrated commuters came running towards it? Ah, yes.
2. The Train Conductors Are Always Super Informative
Nothing like hearing someone screaming into a microphone at 8:45 in the morning, only to find out that
Blarhcks Onclvuuvod Werspekcfs Qoivcaldjd
Actually translates to
This train will not be stopping at 51st street. Please enjoy your morning
Which would make sense, seeing as how you just skid right by your 2nd connection on your commute.
3. They're Always Assigning MTA Employees/Officers to the Right Tasks
I once watched a grown man in a business suit nearly push a pregnant woman down a flight of stairs to make his train. I once witnessed a woman pull a child by her hair to get her onto their train. I was once stuck for several minutes in an MTA turnstile because my bag was caught and I couldn't get it off. The MTA employee was looking at something interesting that was happening somewhere in the phone-region of her tiny box, so I guess she was busy. Also, last week I was given a $100 fine for allowing my friend to swipe through with me because, you guessed it, their card machine was not running. On either side of the station. At three in the morning. But no, please, I deserve it, the mothers pulling their children by the hair are much more worthy of a free pass.
4. Also, They Are Always The Friendliest!
"Ma'am, can I use this reader to check my balance?"
"Ma'am, can I use this?"
Woman In Booth: EXCUSE ME, may I help you?
((me, struggling to get to a train that pulled in too far into the station))
((me, running with a pack of men and women hoping to board the only train for the next 13 minutes))
((me, making it to the door, but getting closed out))
((conductor, watching me struggle to get my bag out of the door, smiling))
5. Signal Problems? NEVER!
Signal Problems: clearly not what your swipe money is going towards fixing. I don't even know what a signal problem implies, but all I know is that the MTA is sending out mixed signals like an estranged Tinder hookup.
6. The Cost Is WORTH IT
There's nothing like stepping onto the morning train and finding out it smells like burning metal, or body odor, or both! There's nothing like forcing yourself onto an over-capacity car because, well honey, it's that or you're late for class. Furthermore, there's nothing like realizing that MOST OTHER MAJOR CITIES PAY CONSIDERABLY LESS FOR THEIR RAILWAY SYSTEMS, well, if they're not FREE. Most other major cities also have considerably fewer people relying on their systems because they have cars as well, and they account for this. Somedays, your everyday train has decided not to run, which would be fine if the bus wasn't 26 minutes away and your car wasn't nonexistent.
7. It's Not Their Fault If You're Late
In fact, it's not the MTA's fault if they're not providing effective alternative services, or if they decide to fix something that should have been fixed years ago, intermittently, all at once as to provide no service for anyone as opposed to limited service for all. It's not their fault the train is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's not their fault they're writing students up for hopping turnstiles, when there are people hopping metaphorical turnstiles in big business and in turn actually MAKING MONEY. By that I mean, the people in charge of the MTA whose pockets I fill with cash every time I cough over $32 for a weekly subway pass.
The bureaucracy of New York transportation works the way that all things in New York do: just enough to keep people from leaving. And so, here I am, eternally grateful for the services of those services that work just enough to keep me in class and at work.