As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m pretty obsessed with kids. I have three nephews, one niece, spend endless amounts of time on babysitting jobs, and spent the majority of my high school summers working as a counselor at a children’s camp. From the time spent, I've learned that kids say the funniest things. Over the years, I've written a couple of my favorite lines down. Here are seven real-life conversations that I've had with kids that will more than likely instantly brighten your day.
1. Watching "the Wizard of Oz" with my three-year-old nephew.
Him: Emma was Dorothy for Halloween
Me: Who is Emma?
Him: (dramatically) I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!
Alas, the struggles of preschool love.
2. My nephews are obsessed with each other (usually) but sometimes they get a little sassy (probably because I’m their Aunt, and it rubs off).
Nephew #1: HEY! HOWS IT GOIN’ ON BUDDY?
Nephew #2: Ew. Don’t say that.
Nephew # 1: Sorry.
Envision that in an Amanda Show: "‘What was that for’, ‘For bein' an idiot’, 'Okay’" kinda way.
3. I was, for some reason, talking to my sister about pistachios when my two-year-old nephew overheard.
Me: *blah blah blah, Pistachio*
Him: THAT’S A BAD WORD, AUNT CAIT. YOU’RE GOING TO TIME OUT!
Pisatchio? Hm. Piss-tachio, maybe? Still trying to understand where he got that one from.
4. At the camp I worked at, a nine-year-old boy came up to me expressing his frustrations.
Him: I am pissed! P-I-S-T, pissed!
He was P-I-S-T, how could I yell at him for that?
5. Again at the camp I worked at, I was in charge of the six-year-olds. One particular boy was a little bit of a ‘rebel’ and liked using naughty words. We were having a seashell-finding competition when, all of a sudden, I heard a conversation about a buoy (which they mistook for a life jacket) in the middle of the lake.
6-year-old #1: WHAT THE F*** IS THAT LIFE JACKET DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE
Me in my head: …Oh my god, oh my god. This child just dropped an F-bomb, how should I appropriately handle this?
6-year-old #2: Caitlin! He just said f***!
I think that’s one story I will NEVER forget.
6. With the younger kids at the camp, every session we would teach them how to make ‘a potion’ out of nature and turn it into candy. One 7-year-old had a different kind of potion in mind.
Me: Alright guys, so today we’re making a candy potion!
7-year-old boy: Candy potion? I want to make a love potion and give it to you, Caitlin.
Me: (Awkwardly laughing) Very funny. Do you guys know the song "I Want Candy"?
7-year-old boy: I do. Except I have a better version. (Starts singing to the tune of ‘I Want Candy’) I WANT GIRLFRIEND.
Whole Group of 7-year-old boys: (join in singing) I WANT GIRLFRIEND.
WHY GOD, WHY?
7. It was the sleepover for day camp when one of the little 6-year-old girls I was watching decided to hop out of bed around one in the morning and tap on me until I woke up.
Little Girl: Is tomorrow today?
From the second she said it, I loved it.
Oh, kids. They truly say the darndest things.
