As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m pretty obsessed with kids. I have three nephews, one niece, spend endless amounts of time on babysitting jobs, and spent the majority of my high school summers working as a counselor at a children’s camp. From the time spent, I've learned that kids say the funniest things. Over the years, I've written a couple of my favorite lines down. Here are seven real-life conversations that I've had with kids that will more than likely instantly brighten your day.
1. Watching "the Wizard of Oz" with my three-year-old nephew.
Him: Emma was Dorothy for Halloween
Me: Who is Emma?
Him: (dramatically) I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!
Alas, the struggles of preschool love.
2.My nephews are obsessed with each other (usually) but sometimes they get a little sassy (probably because I’m their Aunt, and it rubs off).
Nephew #1: HEY! HOWS IT GOIN’ ON BUDDY?
Nephew #2: Ew. Don’t say that.
Nephew # 1: Sorry.
Envision that in an Amanda Show: "‘What was that for’, ‘For bein' an idiot’, 'Okay’" kinda way.
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3. I was, for some reason, talking to my sister about pistachios when my two-year-old nephew overheard.
Me: *blah blah blah, Pistachio*
Him: THAT’S A BAD WORD, AUNT CAIT. YOU’RE GOING TO TIME OUT!
Pisatchio? Hm. Piss-tachio, maybe? Still trying to understand where he got that one from.
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4. At the camp I worked at, a nine-year-old boy came up to me expressing his frustrations.
Him: I am pissed! P-I-S-T, pissed!
He was P-I-S-T, how could I yell at him for that?
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5. Again at the camp I worked at, I was in charge of the six-year-olds. One particular boy was a little bit of a ‘rebel’ and liked using naughty words. We were having a seashell-finding competition when, all of a sudden, I heard a conversation about a buoy (which they mistook for a life jacket) in the middle of the lake.
6-year-old #1: WHAT THE F*** IS THAT LIFE JACKET DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE
Me in my head: …Oh my god, oh my god. This child just dropped an F-bomb, how should I appropriately handle this?
6-year-old #2: Caitlin! He just said f***!
I think that’s one story I will NEVER forget.
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6. With the younger kids at the camp, every session we would teach them how to make ‘a potion’ out of nature and turn it into candy. One 7-year-old had a different kind of potion in mind.
Me: Alright guys, so today we’re making a candy potion!
7-year-old boy: Candy potion? I want to make a love potion and give it to you, Caitlin.
Me: (Awkwardly laughing) Very funny. Do you guys know the song "I Want Candy"?
7-year-old boy: I do. Except I have a better version. (Starts singing to the tune of ‘I Want Candy’) I WANT GIRLFRIEND.
Whole Group of 7-year-old boys: (join in singing) I WANT GIRLFRIEND.
WHY GOD, WHY?
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7.It was the sleepover for day camp when one of the little 6-year-old girls I was watching decided to hop out of bed around one in the morning and tap on me until I woke up.
Little Girl: Is tomorrow today?
From the second she said it, I loved it.
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Oh, kids. They truly say the darndest things.
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