Tears shed, hugs exchanged and families reunited — the airport has always been one of my favorite places. They're the middle ground between my home country and America, and stepping into one inevitably elicits a collection of mixed emotions ranging from nostalgia to exhilaration. However, uncooperative ticket agents, delayed flights and obnoxious travelers are every vacationer’s worst nightmare. Traveling is, without a doubt, strenuous and stressful, and some passengers are determined make the journey a little less than pleasurable.
The Fashionista
Usually adorned in stacks of silver and gold, this traveler is hard to miss. A self-proclaimed fashion icon, she looks more suited for a night out on the town than a four-hour layover flight headed to Chicago. Getting through the security check is a struggle because the line is held up due to her many bins. The Fashionista acts as though she’s surprised, almost insulted, that she could set off the alarm. Gate 17 quickly becomes her runway; move out of the way, peasants.
The FOBs
FOBs — fresh off the boat — travel in large packs and have enough checked luggage filled with gifts for the entire population of their home country. You will usually find them lingering somewhere near the check-in counter trying to distribute extra weight from their luggage to their carry-ons. This is a serious team effort that requires Tetris-like strategic action. Nothing is more heartbreaking than seeing these passengers toss some gifts. Take an FOB’s word for it.
The Unruly Children
I am all about entertaining kids at the airport. After all, the waiting can get the best of us. The parents of these kids are already on vacation mode and do not have a care in the world. Temper tantrums and fighting over whose turn to charge their device are not uncommon. Also, it seems as though headphones were not introduced to these kids. Playing games on your iPad at full volume blaring is not annoying at all. Please, carry on.
The Hipster
Typically clad in flannels and hiking boots, these folks are on a mission to backpack across Europe. You cannot help but wonder what could possibly be inside a bag that colossal. Does your back not hurt? The backpack’s size could easily qualify it to be checked baggage. Predictably, a vicious fight for the overhead compartment is sure to ensue.
The Business Professional
The VIP lounge is filled to the brim with professionals sipping cocktails discussing first world problems. Just when you thought Bluetooth devices were outdated, these passengers surprise you with every hands-free call they make. This person paid for first class and expects nothing but the highest quality treatment.
The Screaming Baby
Soul-piercing shrills echo through the terminals, and it seems as though the mother wants to scream herself. Despite everyone’s frustration and desperate pleas to calm down the baby, this passenger cannot be comforted or consoled. The only solution is to show up prepared with some noise-cancelling headphones and to pray you do not end up neighbors on the plane.
The Transit Passenger
In a perfect world, direct flights would be the only option when it comes to traveling, and complaints about lost luggage would be a thing of the past. Connecting flights leave travelers exhausted, disheveled and agitated; yet the transit passenger is the epitome of comfort. The typical sweat suit is donned and a neck pillow is worn at all times; it seems as though they are always ready for bed. This traveler has the ability to fall asleep at any instance, anywhere and who can blame them?
