1. I WILL wake up early so I have time to look nice for class

This may hold true for the first week or so, but after that, it's sweatshirts, leggings or sweatpants, and messy buns every day without fail

2. I WILL be on time for every class

Sorry for interrupting your lecture, professor. I didn't hear my alarm clock (or maybe just didn't want to)

3. I WILL do all my homework in advance

Who, me? Submitting the online homework with thirty seconds to spare? Never!

4. I WILL eat healthier at the dining hall

But the greasy pizza and burgers and fries look so much better than a salad for the fifth time this week. Also, the ice cream/froyo machine is mocking me

5. I WILL eat healthier in general

When you're at the library late and everything is closed and you're craving something and the vending machine is all that's around, your healthy eating plan will be forgotten

6. I WILL go to the gym

After a long day of class, who wants to go run and be even more exhausted when you can binge-watch more of your favorite shows on Netflix?

7. I WILL go to bed at a reasonable hour every night

Either your homework will keep you up or you'll be on Twitter or Facebook or Youtube and suddenly realize you had planned to go to bed two hours ago