Whether you are new to Alabama or have lived here all of your life, it doesn't take much to realize that the entire state seems to shut down when there is even a chance of a winter storm. And by a winter storm, I mean some ice and half an inch of snow. Schools shut down, classes get canceled. It all seems wonderful, that is until you get out on the road or go to the grocery store to find that they are sold out of milk and bread, leaving you to curse the white flakes that caused it all. Whether you are from the South and relate to this list on a spiritual level or you are from the North and want to laugh at our pain, here are seven emotions told by Michael Scott that portray what we all feel when it snows in Alabama.
1. Panic
As soon as James Spann tells us that there is a sliver of a chance that snow is coming our way, panic is the leading emotion. Will it actually get worse? Are they actually going to make us drive to school or to work if there is ice on the road? They must know we can't do that. Panicked comments begin to flood our Facebook timeline, alerting us to the incoming snowmageddon. It's time to freak out.
2. Suprise
Finally, when it does snow, the first thing that we tend to feel in Alabama is surprise. We can't believe it actually happened or that it actually stuck to the ground. Occasional flurries are one thing, but snow that actually sticks to the ground is astonishing. This leads to us checking our emails, the news, and Facebook just to make sure it's real.
3. Absolute Joy
After we get over the initial surprise, it's time to celebrate! No school, no classes, possibly no work. Thanks to this measly half an inch, we are living the good life. Now it's either time to go back to sleep or take thirty minutes to layer yourself in every single piece of winter gear that you own to face the beast. Children hurry outside to make snow angels or push snow across the entire yard to make the world's smallest snowman. There is nothing that can beat those twenty minutes before you feel like a popsicle in this 28-degree weather.
4. Suffering
Those twenty minutes that seemed like a good idea when we first saw the snow soon turns into complete and utter suffering.It's cold, your clothes are wet, and all you want to do is change clothes and get warm. Those who stayed in bed or next to the fireplace now have their chance to say "I told you so." This is when your happiness begins to turn into loathing.
5. Disgust
Now that your clothes are dry and you are warm again, even the slightest acknowledgment of the snow outside gives you a feeling of disgust. You want nothing to do with it, and you hate to think about the possibility that you might have to go out in the mess again. Instead, you will be happy to stay inside and binge your favorite show until the evil outside is gone.
6. Fear
We can't talk about it snowing in Alabama if we don't mention the fear associated with driving on the ice that the Devil sent to test us. Especially being from Cullman, Alabama, I already know that our people can't drive even on the sunniest days of the year. Now, put some ice on the road and you are looking at a disaster waiting to happen. Believe me, after riding on a road with ice, you will fully believe in Jesus Christ when the trip is over.
7. Thankfulness
Once the sun begins to come out and the snow begins to melt, we are thanking God for getting us through this cold, awful day. We are thankful that we can finally drive again (for the most part) or that the likelihood we can take off the two extra shirts we are wearing is growing. We are thankful that spring is on its way, and we can go back to sunnier times. But most of all, we are thankful that we live in Alabama where snow only comes maybe two times a year.
