If there's one thing that I know for certain, it's that I feel better when things are under my control. I don't mean I need things to go my way or the highway, but rather that I am able to have a firm grasp on what is going on around me. From my daily schedule, to decision making, to knowing what will come next -- I feel more confident when I'm behind the wheel (both literally and figuratively). It's comforting being able to predict the events occurring in your life. But once the rug is ripped out from under you, and you feel like you're unable to take control, that's when things can get stressful. Over the years I have found some ways that have helped me regain control in my life and, with practice, have helped me get my feet back on the ground.
1. Take A Minute
The very first thing to do when you feel yourself starting to get overwhelmed is to pause, and take a minute to listen to yourself. Try and figure out the root for what is making you uncomfortable. Take a few minutes for yourself to breathe and calm down. When things start to change rapidly around you, it can be overwhelming. It is important to listen to your body to understand what you can do to stay healthy.
2. Unexpected Is Okay
Life has its ups and downs. And at times, it can be unpredictable. For instance, a global pandemic and societal shift brought the most unexpected twists and turns that no one could have seen coming, let alone could have controlled. Everyday the new normal has been changing, and that can be a scary thing. It could make anyone feel like they no longer are in control of their life. What's important is how you decide to deal with these things without getting too overwhelmed.
3. Make A List
Think of all the things that are making you feel stressed, anxious, or out of control and begin to write them down. This can be a To Do list of things to accomplish, or just a list of the reasons you feel like you don't have a full grasp on your life. Just by writing out the reasons you feel out of sorts allows you to take back control of those things. You are able to recognize what they are and what they are doing to you. That alone is the first step to understanding that you are, in fact, in control of your life.
4. Understand That You Call The Shots
While you may not have been able to control the things around you, you will always be in control of yourself. You get to decide how to pick yourself up and conquer life's most difficult tests. The list you made is the perfect example of how you take back control of the things around you and realize that you have the power to change them and make them better for you. Recognizing your own inner strength is an important step in understanding how you can call the shots.
5. Take It One Step At A Time
One of the most important things you can do is focus on the present. Jumping to conclusions or thinking about the future can easily and quickly overwhelm you if you're still dealing with the present. Just take it one day at a time, and if that doesn't work, try taking it one hour at a time. Only focus on what is going on around you. Trying to plan out what will happen will only result in stress-spiraling (which I have been guilty of before). Focus on taking back control of one thing at a time, focusing only on what you are doing in the moment.
6. Find Your Calming Technique
When you feel like things are out of your control, it can create a lot of anxiety or stress. It's easy to get overwhelmed and upset. When this happens, it's important to have a few strategies or things to do to help you calm down and get your feet back on the ground. For instance, listening to music, calling a loved one, or taking a moment to yourself to detach from the world for just a few minutes can work wonders. Sometimes, when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, taking a step back to put things in perspective can help relieve some stress.
7. Let Go
There comes a point where the best thing to do for your mental health is to let go of the things you can't control. You have to remind yourself that you can't control other people's actions like you can't control the weather. And the things that are really out of your control don't deserve your time or stress. If ultimately there is nothing you can do, take a deep breathe and just let it go. Prioritizing things that you can do over ones there's nothing you can do about will tremendously help you feel less overwhelmed.
