They say that the first step is admittance: When you finally realize you have a bad habit you need to kick, admitting you have a problem is the first necessary step in recovery. So, let's all admit it together, shall we? Take a deep breath, and repeat after me: "I am a Stereotypical New Jersey Driver." There! See? Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? Not sure if you're a Stereotypical Jersey Driver? Well, here's 6 signs that you are. (And you probably are.)
1. You sometimes forget what a speed limit is.
To you, the speed limit is actually at least 15 miles per hour higher than what the sign says, if you're even driving slow enough to see the sign. A true Stereotypical Jersey Driver knows that following "65 MPH" on the parkway will land you a solid spot straight into that parade of a right lane. How can the right lane drivers even stand to move that slow when all of the traffic next to them is zooming by practically at the speed of light? If you can relate to this, you've probably been told that you have a "lead foot" by your mom, even though you know damn well she's got one, too. (And that's okay!)
2. You aren't at all ashamed of your road rage.
When another car pisses you off, you suddenly are no longer driving a car, but instead are sailing a boat. (Get it? Because you curse like a sailor? Damn, I'm funny.) But seriously, when another driver does something that really grinds your gears, the words that come out of your mouth tend to not even make sense; they're just a seemingly endless string of swear after swear yelled at an unreasonably high volume (even though you know the other car can't hear you). In the worst cases, your "Jersey accent" surfaces, and suddenly you're not only a sailor, but you're also a guido being filmed at Seaside.3. You don't understand why out-of-staters don't understand.
Jug handles, U Turns, roundabouts, and "ALL TURNS RIGHT LANE" signs make perfect sense to you. But to your out of state friends, it's like stepping into a whole other universe where all things good and sane (like in Jersey) don't make any sense whatsoever. What is so hard to understand about turning right to go left? It's completely logical to you, and a little bit of that road rage tends to come out when your out-of-state friends can't seem to grasp the simple concept.
4. You fully stand by the stereotypes of drivers from other states.
Pennsylvania drivers are so slow that they basically aren't even moving. Florida drivers are always completely clueless and always somehow end up having to cut across three lanes of traffic to get to their exit. And, as a collective whole, New York drivers just plain suck. (Seriously. After moving to NY for college, I can honestly say my road rage has increased ten-fold, and it's all because of those damn orange license plates.) (This does not exclude drivers with the blue license plates with the city skyline. They suck, too.)
5. You constantly underestimate the time it takes to get somewhere.
6. You're overconfident about your driving abilities.
Now that I think about it, being a Stereotypical New Jersey Driver is pretty awesome. There's no problem here at all. Keep doin' your thing, guys. We rock.
