To go through life expecting that everyone you meet is automatically going to adore you and be your friend is futile. It is impossible to jive with everyone. Every person has their own energy and own views on people. It is a blow to the confidence to realize certain people, no matter how nice you are, just plain don't like you.
But you know what? Those people don't matter and have no right to invade your self-esteem or personal outlook on life.
Throughout much of my young adult years, I have had to deal with people who have been nasty, unfair, judgmental, and who just downright dislike me for seemingly no reason. I used to drag myself through the mud over it, but now, I've realized that there are always going to be naysayers, there are always going to be those tough people you just can't crack.
It has NOTHING to do with you!
Here are 6 tips that I have personally found useful when dealing with crappy, difficult people who just seem to want to single out others and bring them down.
Don't Give People The Reaction They Want
People who don't like you want you to know it, and they want you to react. They are like schoolyard bullies who feed off of their victims' misery. If they try to provoke you or irk you, just respond with a smile and a simple "how are you?" Don't let them believe that they are getting to you, because that's what they want. Want to piss them off? Just be nice and appear unbothered. When they know they are failing at raining on your parade, their storm will slowly lose power.
Talk to someone
Some people feel overwhelmed with emotion when they have to deal with a difficult person. Sometimes it can trigger mental pain and anxiety. They will start to question if they deserve to be treated so poorly by said-person, and slowly lose their self-esteem. If this is happening to you and/or someone is making you feel worthless, don't hesitate to confide about the situation to people close to you. It helps to hear their advice and you can find comfort letting out about what's been going on to those you trust. It's better to talk about this issue that's bothering you than to let it eat away at you.
Ask a mutual acquaintance if they suspect this person is being unfair to you
This is a little different than confiding in someone as I mentioned above. In this case, you would be asking someone who knows the two of you well enough to have a good idea if whether or not this person is actually being unnecessarily cruel to you or if you're just overthinking. Sometimes we can assume that someone doesn't like us and we can be completely wrong. We as humans instinctively want to be liked and accepted, so we are always on alert for those who seem cold to us. Do you feel that maybe you're overthinking the whole situation? Do you think maybe you are overreacting to things they're doing around you that are actually unintentional? Or is it actually true and you are being singled out? If you know someone who can confirm if you're right or wrong, ask them if they agree if that said-person seems particularly against you. However, if this person you want to ask seems at all untrustworthy or is friends with the other person, maybe talk to someone else about it instead.
Confront Them
If this person doesn't seem threatening, I definitely recommend simply confronting them about how you feel. Instead of letting it drag out and weigh on your mind, instead just ask the person if you could speak with them privately, and then calmly ask what's been going on. For instance, say "so I feel there may be some bad blood between us, and I just wanted to clear the air with you about what possibly is going on." Or something along the lines of that. Is it hard? Yes. Is it scary? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely.
Attempt to Empathize with Them
It's natural to feel hate and anger towards a person who clearly does not like you. However, hating them or feeling waves of anger and anxiety over it does nothing but harm to you. Your anger towards this person won't affect them in any way, and the only person it hurts is you. Rather, think about what possibly is going on in their lives that may be making them particularly unpleasant. Is their parent sick? Were they just dumped? Did they not get the job they wanted? Think about what possibly is going on in their life that you may not be aware of. It'll definitely help put things in perspective, and help you to figure out if it's a personal issue they have against you or if they're just upset for a different reason and happen to be taking it out on you
Let it go
At the end of the day, you have to realize that not everyone's opinion of you matters, and accept that you're not always going to win everyone over, no matter how nice you are. It's better to stay true to yourself than to fake it to make people like you who wouldn't like you otherwise. Doesn't seem worth it to me. Those who really care will accept you as you are and make an effort to be nice to you. I have learned that myself over the years. It's not worth it to feel angry or sad or excluded all because of what a few insignificant, immature people think about you. The only way someone will hurt you is if you let them. Period. Don't give them the power to bring you down in any way. It's like the saying goes:
Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
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