ONE
It was 3 am and you were driving my drunk ass home trying to feed me chicken nuggets yelling at me for not eating. This was in our on off period and I was thinking we were going to be together again soon. I liked that you still cared if I did or didn't eat. I liked that you still cared about me.
It had been so long since I had seen you that I almost forgot the way you smelt, I could have spent all night in the car smelling you tracing the lines on yours hands stealing every kiss possible. But for the first time there was no traffic from the long ride from your house to mine and we made it home in record time. I wish I knew then that would be the last time I saw you.
TWO
It was the last time we spent the day together, we sat in my bed crisscrossed and snacked and talked all day. I thought we were fixing it I thought we were staring over. But when you kissed me goodbye and walked out the door I started to cry. You asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, that was a lie. In my heart I knew that was the last time we would ever kiss.
THREE
I was running through the Brooklyn Pier when a dog walker lost control of the 8 dogs he was walking and I was attacked by puppy love. I wanted to call you and tell you about how many puppies I got to love and play with but we don't talk anymore, I'm not supposed to call and I forgot that.
I remembered when it was your kisses that attacked me, and your puppy love. I tried to remember what it was like kissing you and I couldn't. That killed me.
FOUR
I used to wear your promise ring everyday for nearly a year, I didn't necessarily like the ring but I loved what it meant. I loved what I meant to you. When we broke up I took the ring off and it sits in my ring dish next to my bed. From wearing the ring so long I built up a calus on my finger, everyday I touched it and thought of you but one day it was just gone and when I realized it I sobbed for hours and hours. You had been out of my life for a while but feeling the trace of you gone from my hand somehow made it permit and it broke my heart.
FIVE
I kissed someone else. It wasn't my first kiss after our breakup but it meant more, it was supposed to. It was someone I had a crush on since I was 17, a big epic middle school style crush and I had been chasing him the entire summer we were apart, the week we went back to school he finally kissed me and flirting with me all night in the bar. But when he kissed me it was all wrong, there were no butterflies or satisfaction. It was to aggressive kissing you never felt forced, every time you kissed me it was like I was dying of thirst and you were a cold glass or water and I could never have enough. And honestly kissing someone else just felt so wrong.
SIX
I missed I love you's, I haven't heard one in so long. I mean saying goodbye to my parents I would get a love you bye but it just wasn't the same as someone who doesn't have to love you saying it because they truly mean it through and through.
I was playing with the kids I babysat and one of them said I love you Angelina and it felt real, it meant something to me, it meant everything to me. I missed i love you's after hearing you tell me you didn't love me anymore meant the world to me, because even thought I still missed you it showed me people will love me, and someone will love me again.
