With Thanksgiving just around the corner, Big Box stores all across the country are preparing for what is perhaps their biggest event of the year: Black Friday. After all, what's more fun than heading out after Thanksgiving dinner (or before, or during, as some store's 6 PM opening beg you to do) and being trampled by your fellow Middle-Class Americans? Which begs the question: is it all really worth it? Here are the 11 thoughts you have when going Black Friday shopping.
1. Do I really have to be up this early?
Your friends are honking outside your window at 3:30 AM. You thought it was illegal to be up that early unless you were pulling an all-nighter, but you grab your wallet and head outside anyway, making sure to give them death stares because it's the morning and YOU ARE GRUMPY.
2. Where's the coffee?
You know the only way you're going to make it through the day is if you stop at Starbucks (or Dunkin' Donuts, if that's more your thing) first. You pull up to the drive-thru window and annoy the 24 hour barista with eight separate orders, because it's Black Friday, and you can get away with that kind of thing.
3. Are you kidding me? Target isn't even open yet?
We've all had this happen. You get up at the crack of dawn only to realize that you have to sit in the parking lot for another hour until the store actually opens. What happened to all the Thursday Night deals you heard about on TV during the Macy's Parade? With your luck, all the good stuff is probably gone.
4. Does it really have to be this violent?
When you get inside, you check yourself for broken bones. You look around and realize that one friend isn't there. Another Black Friday Casualty.
5. Why are they always out of my sizes?
You finally find a top that's actually cute with a decently slashed price. You rifle through the clump of shirts, only to find that they don't have your size available. You start wondering if you even need this shirt. You start thinking that if you don't need it, why'd you even go out shopping in the first place? You start thinking that maybe if you didn't go shopping, you would have gotten more sleep. You start questioning the whole concept of Black Friday.
6. We're doing this next year, right?
Even after all this craziness, you know you're a slave to American Consumer Culture. So you turn to your friends and ask, "We're doing this next year, right?"
