I can smell it in the air. The scent of girls crying mixed with two-dozen broken hearts is overwhelming. Yes, you guessed it… it’s Bachelor season again. Around this time of year, America is hypnotized by this fake representation of love. The trips, the romance, the chemistry the everything is a Hollywood production that captures the hearts and minds of millions taking them to the land of hopeless romance and televised desperation. That being said I would be lying if I said that this wasn’t entertaining. So here are some thoughts all guys have while watching "The Bachelor."
1. Wow, how is every episode like 12 hours long?
This is kind of ridiculous. The same thing happens in every episode and still somehow every episode is another 2 or 3 hours long. You can only have so much crying, gossip, and lip locking. God bless DVR and time to watch it the next day.
2. Did someone really name their daughter Lace?
Is this a joke? Lace? I knew the moment she introduced herself, said five words and went in for the first kiss she would be psychotic. Boy, was I correct. Instead of signing up to be on "The Bachelor," she should’ve signed up for some therapy because now the entire world knows she is a lunatic
3. If someone gets sick in this house, everyone gets sick in this house because everyone is essentially kissing everyone.
There must be some mad hand washing going on because Ben is kissing everyone, and I know how germs spread and this is the poster child for germ transportation. And, wouldn’t it be weird if you were kissing someone and there were three cameramen staring at you?
4. Olivia’s mouth could actually double as the Grand Canyon.
Holy cow, this girl has a mouth on her. Any time Olivia feels any sort of emotion she cranks open this huge black hole-of-a-mouth and it makes me do a double take. Close your mouth once in a while Olivia.
5. This many good looking people in one house is way too much to handle.
I don’t know how this happens every year without at least one murder being committed. All the people on this show are just so good looking and judgmental that I wouldn’t put capital murder past them. I want them to do a “real life” season of The Bachelor where the girls show up out of the limo with sweatpants, a messy bun and a half eaten box of Popeye’s.
6. This is dumb.
Yes, it is entertaining but even more so it is dumb. This is not real love; this is a chance for reality TV fame. On "The Bachelor" everyone is in “love” because they are on a 2-month long vacation all around the world. I could fall in love if that’s all I had to worry about, but the reality is that they are going to have to go home and work for a living. You don’t fall in love with someone after two weeks of meeting them.
Well, there you have it, thoughts that consistently ran through my head as I watched "The Bachelor" with my mom while not wishing for school to start again. That being said, I know everyone is still going to watch it and get so caught up in the love and crap and that is okay. "The Bachelor" serves to distract us from our own lives and make us care about some other random people's lives. All I am saying is if Lace wins, I am going on strike.
