Computer science is becoming an increasingly popular and lucrative major. Every facet of life is becoming integrated with computers, so experienced programmers are in high demand. Many people are choosing to become programmers but are unprepared about some of the little cultural quirks behind computer programming. Here's a handy list that highlights some of these idiosyncrasies!
1. You need a few gallons of bug spray.
Debugging is an important part of program development, but a novice programmer may be overwhelmed by the writhing mass of cockroaches and flies that arises from their first few programs. Unprepared students have been known to drown in a sea of 1000's of bugs. Most popular brands of bug spray have "programmer deals" if you personally call the manufacturer, so you can save a few bucks!
2. Be prepared to wake up randomly with no recollection of what happened the previous day.
This is what is known as a "memory leak," which is a dangerous type of program bug. Most people wake up with the words "memory leaker" scrawled all over their body in red ink, though blue or black ink is also common. The easiest way to avoid memory leaks is to not sleep.
3. Writing infinite loops causes one to live out the plot of Groundhog Day.
If a programmer accidentally writes an infinite loop, the programmer will find themselves in the role of Phil Connors trying to win the heart of Rita Hanson. Many programmers, because of this, have become master pianists and sculptors, but it becomes very time consuming to execute the perfect February 2nd every time you write an infinite loop.
4. It is really easy to hack into the mainframe!
Contrary to what the movies say, overriding access to the government's databases is really simple! Most introductory classes go over basic terminal usage, common login information, intermediate security clearance bypasses, and advance nervous shoulder hovering. However, it is very difficult to zoom and enhance photos and videos. Many programmers don't learn this process unless they become doctorates at elite institutions.
5. You must provide an offering to Alan Turing every Blood Moon.
Offerings typically consist of Macintosh Quandras or solar-powered calculators given out at trade shows, though any computer-related device may suffice. Check with your school to see a full list of Turing approved offerings. Failure to give a proper offering to Mr. Turing results in being transformed into a novelty Twitter bot.
6. No cheese.
Absolutely no cheese. Do not eat cheese. Do not speak about cheese. Do not think about cheese. No cheese.
