I found out during my first semester of college that I’m a romantic. As a future author, this mindset’s going to help me out tremendously when I’m building relationships with my characters. However, being the single person that I am now, having romantic tendencies isn’t helping me out much at the moment. Realizing I’m not the only one out there, here’s a list of things not to do when you’re a lonely romantic
1. Do not listen to romantic/sad music
So I’m guilty of breaking this one the most out of all of things listed. In fact, I’m listening to a sad song right now as I write this. If you are a lonely romantic, don’t be like me. Listening to any kind of romantic/sad music is only going to make you want to feel sad about your current position and want to rush into the first relationship you can find. Not a good idea. Relationships are things you need to take time to establish and grow in, not something to rush into. Listening to the kind of music that makes you long for some kind of human contact is not going to be good for you in the long run. Listening to one or two songs now and again is fine, but playing one song on a loop like I’m doing isn’t the best for your current state.
2. Do not get caught up in what could have been
The last thing any romantic needs to do is look back into the past and wonder what could have happened if they did _____. Keeping your head in the past while you wonder what you could have done differently to keep some relationship afloat or to kick start a new relationship is not a positive way to live. Trust me, I’ve thought about countless ways I could’ve tried harder to try to start a more serious relationship with someone and all that did was make me depressed. Instead of focusing on the past, fellow romantics, focus on the future. The right person God has for you is out there in the world, not in what could have been.
3. Do not watch romance movies
Another thing I found out while I was going through my first year of college was that I cry more than most normal people. Well, I cry more than most guys anyways. You know what really makes a guy cry though? Romance movies. Because you know that eventually there’s going to be some scene in the movie that’s going to get your tear ducts working and a couple things are going to happen. One, the person sitting next to you is going to be wondering why you’re making a river in their living room; two, your loneliness factor is going to be upped by 10; and three, you’re going to want to watch another one. If you see how this is all going down a self-destructive pattern, then I rest my case. Nothing good is going to come from romance movies.
4. Do not be disheartened by other people’s relationships
Everyone has friends. Friends are great. Except when they’re in a relationship. Then you sometimes don’t want to be around them. Seeing two people happy in their relationship doesn’t really help when you’re single and lonely, I speak from experience. But it’s good to remember that friends are here to help you and keep you feeling good. Just because they’re in a relationship shouldn’t get you down. Instead, be happy for them, don’t get caught up in their happiness, and maybe one day they’ll set you up with one of their other friends. Hey, a guy can hope right?
5. Do not watch TV shows just to get hooked on the onscreen relationships
I’m a TV fanatic. My book shelves are filled with TV seasons, not books, if that gives you an idea. But the thing about watching TV when you’re feeling lonely is that eventually you find yourself becoming a shipper. It can be as simple as this: you like two characters, you like how they like each other, you hate that they’re not together. Next thing you know you’re screaming at the TV because you’re two characters didn’t kiss or a romantic moment was ruined and you don’t comprehend that this particular episode aired ten years ago. Bottom line, if you’re feeling lonely and you’re surfing Netflix, pick a documentary series. At least then you’ll fall asleep instead of crying during an episode of Lost. Which I have not done. Ever.
6. Do not think it’s over for your love life
So let’s say you’ve failed to stay away from everything I’ve talked about above. You’re a lonely romantic listening to Ed Sheeran, watching a Nicolas Sparks movie while a Friends episode is on pause, and texting your best friend about how their girlfriend is doing. You’re probably feeling down right now. Like, rock bottom down. What you need to remember is that God has a plan for you. And no, most likely that plan does not involve you sitting around and crying into a pillow. Just because you’re single now doesn’t mean you’re going to be single forever. The best advice that I can offer to a lonely romantic is don’t give up hope, have faith in God, and watch an action movie.
