6 Stages Of Long-Distance Friendship
Start writing a post

6 Stages Of Long-Distance Friendship

If we could just live in the same time zone, that'd be great.

6 Stages Of Long-Distance Friendship

Whether it’s friends from home during the school year or school friends during the summers, most of us face the challenge of keeping friendships alive over long distances once we start college. For me, the distance challenge popped up when my family moved from Florida to St. Louis; I transferred to join them after spending my freshman year rooming with my childhood best friend. Now, she teaches in Florida and I’ll be soon be teaching in St. Louis. This is what the intervening three years have looked like.

1. Texting every minute.

You used to be just a room or a building away, and now there are hundreds (or thousands) of miles between you. You can only deal with this by texting everything you would normally be saying if everyone was still in her proper place. During this stage, your phone never leaves your hand, let alone your pocket.

2. “We can still do things together!”

The texting has died down, because you’ve realized it is a tad rude to the people who are currently around you. Also, you you think may be developing arthritis in your thumbs. You’ve replaced incessant phone contact with long-distance craft, movie and homework dates. You criticize figure skaters during the PBS coverage of a competition, have a craft night over Facetime and make valiant efforts to talk on the phone while also writing papers. The people around you think you’re dorks, but you’re having too much fun to care.

3. Jealousy.

You know that no one will ever take your place in each other’s hearts, but it’s hard not to get jealous and feel left out when you see other people taking your place in your friend’s daily life. You used to be the one who helped study for a test, move furniture or shop for groceries, and now someone else fills those gaps. You kind of resent the people who are around you for not being her. You mope around your house for a while, before you remind yourself that the new friendships you’ve both made won’t ever edge out the old friendship that you share.

4. Becoming best friends with the local postal workers.

“If it fits, it ships” is your new motto. Baking cookies on a whim? Box those delicious things up and ship ‘em a few states over. You’ve mailed food, spa kits, tea parties, school supplies, clothes, cards and everything else you could possibly think of. You regularly search “happy mail” on Pinterest for ideas for your next package. At this point, the people at your post office know you and your friend by name.

5. Regular phone dates.

It’s been a while, and you still have those craft nights and go running together over the phone. You still mail things regularly, but you’ve slowed down to spare your wallet. Now, your relationship mainly consists of Wednesday night phone calls after church or Friday calls on the way home from work. You update each other on your lives, share your struggles and frustrations and joys and get to know all of the supporting characters in each other’s daily happenings.

6. Traveling.

You go longer ever before without seeing each other, and so you plan road trips together just to survive the reality that you aren’t seeing each other in the near future. Any trip that puts the two of you into even the same time zone is scrutinized for an opportunity to meet up. When major events do come up, you make the time and buy the plane ticket or drive for days if necessary.

When your best friend is too far away to spend time with in person, all of these things factor into your continued friendship. It’s fun, it’s hard and it’s worth it. You may go through times when your friendship and communication looks different, and there may even be times when you don’t talk for a week or two because you’re both too busy. It’s ok. As you grow and change, so will your friendship; but at the end of the day, when you need each other, you’re there- and that’s why you make it work.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments