I know what you’re thinking…”How can the words “give” and “up” possibly be in the same context?” I mean it’s pretty much one of the biggest 101 life lessons we’ve learned growing up. Whether it be from our parents, our teachers, our mentors, or even some of our favorite celebrities; we’ve all come across the phrase “Don’t give up on yourself.” Well in case you haven't felt motivated to be the best version of yourself lately, here are some habits to cut ties with in order to boost your self-esteem and engage in a more positive mindset.
1. Give up doubting yourself.
Yup. The spine-crawling words. Something we tend to do very often before a competition, before asking someone out on a date, or perhaps before a job interview. The question is..."why?" We know ourselves better than most people do--we know what we are capable of, our passions, our aspirations. But why is it that when we are faced with a challenge or something out of the ordinary, our hearts start to beat a little faster and our minds start the back-and-forth thought process? We have to remember that our confidence seeps right through our faces and becomes transparent through our body language. It's okay to be unsure about a situation you are confronted with and seek others for advice and it's sure as heck okay to be nervous. Nervousness means you CARE. Stop thinking "Oh, that would never happen to me" or "I'm just one in a million" and think about all that you have to offer--your creativity, your talent, your goals. Don't discourage yourself from doing something because you're afraid to be judged or criticized. Kill doubt with courage. Do something spontaneous. Try something new for the first time. Put yourself out there and you'll realize that the outcome is far more rewarding than any doubt that ever came across your mind.
2. Give up procrastinating.
If you said you would get something done today and today becomes tomorrow and tomorrow becomes the next day...looks like you're a victim of the procrastination phenomenon. It's true that the things that take more time and more commitment are the hardest items on the list to get done. Instead of completing the tasks at hand, you're surfing the web and checking your social media feeds. Then when the assignment is due you start to panic and wish you would have had more time. Well, instead of avoiding the load of the work try to make a realistic to-do list and set deadlines. Keep yourself busy and productive. Break your work into small sections. Eliminate any distractions. Don't get me wrong, this isn't all work and no play. Treat yourself. After you complete an item on your to-do list, take a small break to do something enjoyable. Give up procrastinating for X, Y, Z, reasons and begin planning ahead. It comes in handy in the adult world and it feels great to put a check mark next to an item that you have been putting off.
3. Give up criticizing others.
BIG one. Words really do hurt. Nobody really knows what someone is going through emotionally, physically, or mentally. You could be sitting next to someone right now and have no clue what current situation they are facing or the thoughts that are jumbling through their head. As important as it is to not let someone's criticism define who you are it's better to just eliminate those harsh words to begin with. Stop bashing someone because of something they can't control or because they are doing something you don't agree with. Honestly, how many times does someone in your circle of friends leave the room and people immediately start talking negatively about him or her? It gives people false hope about the sincerity of a relationship between two people. Instead, replace criticism with a compliment. You never know how much you can lighten up a person's mood by simply telling them "You look really nice today."
4. Give up your fear of failure.
With success comes failure. I repeat. With success comes failure. We all dream of being successful individuals but if you don't treat your mistakes like building blocks you won't be able to achieve greater milestones. It's funny, we allow failure to define us. We allow it to control us and give it the power to destroy our emotions. But by doing that, we break away from reality. Don't get me wrong, having to face your failures isn't easy--it can make you feel embarrassed and perhaps shy you away from wanting to try again. However, we need to treat failure as a learning experience. Failures are an opportunity for us to identify our weaknesses and push ourselves to realize our greatest potential. We tend to learn more about ourselves than we do from our failures. If Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb and Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before he was able to finance Disneyland, then what is stopping us from achieving our dreams? Take chances and risk failure.
5. Give up being insecure.
Think of it like this, you will never please anyone; so do yourself a favor and feel comfortable in your own skin. We tend to feel insecure about small details like whether we have too much makeup on or whether our jeans are too tight or on big details like whether or not we will be successful in our chosen professions or if you will be able to find "the one." It's totally normal. You're not the only one who feels this way and you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. Give yourself permission to be who you are and you will naturally attract people who accept you for you.
6. Give up taking things personally.
Don't jump to conclusions when someone confronts you, try to put yourself in their shoes. Dig deep into what they could be feeling and why they are reacting the way they are. Maybe that person's communication skills and mannerisms aren't the way you would like them to be but that doesn't mean they are targeting you. It could just be that they have had a rough day and they are projecting their feelings and problems onto you. The best thing you could do is listen to them. Try building a wall between you and your reactions. Take a moment to understand the situation before responding emotionally. But don't let your guard down completely.
Put these to the test. You'll thank yourself later.
Sincerely,
an average teen just like you
