I am this girl. I ask over and over if things are okay after a fight, make sure everyone is happy around me, and want to be reminded that I am loved.
I always feel like I annoy people around me with my questions. Everyone knows a girl who always has to ask something "just to make sure."
Whether it's a girlfriend, friend, or even if it's you here are some things you need to know so you can better understand the ones around you.
1. She can't help it
Don't give this girl a hard time because chances are this is just how she is. She may have been damaged along the way or naturally overthinks. Be understanding. Never tell her she is annoying you, or mention that you've reassured her over the same thing 50 times before. Just answer her little question and move on. That is all she wants.
2. She doesn't want to be this way
I know I never wanted to ask the same little questions over and over, but here I am doing it. Don't shame the girl like this in your life because she probably wouldn't choose to me like this if she had the choice. It's not like she is going out of her way to annoy or bother you, so don't take it so negatively.
3. You don't know what is going on in her head
Chances are she is overthinking, and creating a million terrible situations in her head that she would never dream of telling you about. While her out-of-the-blue question may seem random and crazy to you chances are she has been thinking this over in her head for a while before she worked up the nerve to ask you.
4. Her past may have left her with scars
Crappy relationships, mean exes, rumors, and old friends could all be the reason this girl is the way she is. Maybe her ex said he never loved her or some mean girl called her ugly. You may have never hurt her or lied, but she is scared to death it will happen again. Thats why she asks her girlfriends 100 times if she looks good in an outfit, or ends every night asking her boyfriend if he still loves her.
5. Don't make jokes about it
If she is asking for reassurance she is probably self-conscious or overthinking the topic, and the jokes you make about it will only make it worse. You may think what she is asking you is the dumbest thing in the world, but put a smile on your face and answer it anyways. Don't tear her down more than she has probably already done to herself.
6. YOU can help her
Tell her she is beautiful out of the blue. Remind her she is loved and important before she has to ask you. Being a step ahead of her questions will put her mind at ease before the overthinking takes her over.
Needing reassurance should never be seen as a bad thing. Everyone has doubts, and no one deserves to suffer or be looked down at because they want answers. If you need reassurance then ask. You are not alone. If someone thinks less of you because of it, then they do not deserve a place in your life. Remember that your happiness comes first, so do what you need to do to always have a smile on your face. Like Connie Stevens said,
" Nothing you wear in more important than your smile"
Feminism Redefined
