I will be the first to admit that I have a problem with procrastinating. And yes, I probably should do something about it. Perhaps I will later. Jokes aside, I know I’m not the only one who struggles with leaving their work until the last minute. Every time I have an assignment due I delude myself into thinking that this time will be different from all the others and that I really will start this one on time. When that inevitably does not happen and "Stressed Out" by Twenty One Pilots becomes my theme song, I console myself with the fact that I’ve gotten through the other assignments before and that pain is only temporary. Let’s take a look into this whole process.
1. I really should start my work.
2. But there’s still plenty of time.
3. I can wait a little bit.
4. I deserve a break from all the other work I’ve been doing.
5. Alternatively, if on break: I’m on break. I’m supposed to relax.
6. I’ll start working after this episode.
7. Eh, I still have time to watch one more.
8. Well I can’t end on a cliffhanger.
9. I won’t be able to focus.
10. I’ll just catch up now so that I won’t be distracted while I’m working.
11. Okay, time to start my work.
12. Let me just check my phone first.
13. What are people saying on Twitter?
14. Next I need to look at Instagram.
15. And I can’t forget about Snapchat.
16. I need to be up to date so that I won’t be thinking about looking at my phone while I’m working.
17. Now I’ll start.
18. But it is due tomorrow.
19. I still have all of today to finish it.
20. That’s so many hours left.
21. I need to be productive though.
22. I know. I’ll do my laundry.
23. And while those clothes are being washed I’ll hang up this pile.
24. Look at me getting stuff done.
25. Might as well wash the dishes while I’m at it.
26. Now that I’m out of my room I should say hello to my pet cat/dog/fish.
27. My pet will always love me regardless of the timeliness or quality of my work.
28. Okay, now I’ll start.
29. But first I need to check my phone again.
30. It’s been half an hour; I could have missed something important.
31. There are only two new tweets and one new picture.
32. Why isn’t anyone posting on their story anymore?
33. I don’t even want to look at my phone, I’m just procrastinating.
34. I really have a problem.
35. Okay, I’m starting for real this time.
36. I can’t work on an empty stomach though.
37. Here’s the plan.
38. I’ll eat lunch so that I won’t be disrupted when I’m working.
39. And while I eat lunch I’ll watch only one YouTube video.
40. It’ll only take me 20 minutes.
41. I’ll still have the whole afternoon to work.
42. Everything will be fine.
43. I still have food but the video has ended.
44. I’ll watch one more, just as I finish this last bite.
45. Okay now I really need to start if I want to have enough time.
46. But this video is only five minutes.
47. Why do I do this to myself?
48. I am a giant ball of stress.
49. At least there’s literally nothing else for me to do.
50. I can say with confidence that my tactic of leaving my work last so that I’ll be forced to do it has definitely worked.
51. Always look on the bright side; I’ve accomplished something.
52. Now instead of curling up into a ball and crying I’ll write the best essay ever known to man.
53. I’ve definitely learned my lesson; next time I’ll start early.
