In 1994, this guy, Brad Blanton, with his PhD in psychology and years practicing psychotherapy, published a book called "Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth." It became a nationwide bestseller by 1996 and has been translated into seven languages since then. Kind of a big deal back in the day, but I’ve only recently heard about it.

I learned about it from someone who assumed I must be a believer in it just because I’m blunt. Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but that’s just my naturally abrasive personality. I’d be even more of liar than I already am if I told you I wasn’t one at all.

So what is this theory of “radical honesty” and why don’t I completely support it?

Dr. Blanton posits that lying is the primary source of all our stress and that by being radically honest (AKA being totally blunt and direct, like Candor from "Divergent"), we can all be happier because of the new intimacy we’ve created by not hiding things from each other. He sells it as a self-improvement technique and has written a bunch of other books on the subject. There are even videos of people swearing it’s changed their life for the better.

And I have a hard time completely buying into that. (Yes, I do buy into it to a degree).

Don’t get me wrong, honesty is a good thing. If we didn’t have any honest people out there, the world would be a pretty sad place. And I do believe that the truth and sharing secrets does help forge intimate bonds between individuals. But no one can possibly be honest all of the time. Look at our politicians! You think they care whether we think they’re honest or not? They’re always lying, whether it’s to fool us or protect us from the truth, is up to you to decide. But everyone lies.

Because lying is not always about hoodwinking someone or gaining the advantage or trying to make yourself look good. It's not always selfish. Sometimes it’s telling white lies to surprise someone or keep them from things you know will hurt them. Sometimes it’s making the tough call and letting your morals get tarnished in order to save someone from throwing away theirs. Lying can be altruistic.

But like with anything and everything in the world, it’s only good in moderation. You can’t lie about everything. And you can't keep the truth from someone forever, you can just wait until you know they can handle it. And even then, it's hard. You have to take responsibility and say the things no one else is brave enough or wise enough to say. Honesty can be a shield, but it can also be a weapon.

However, there is a time and place for things to be said and I feel that radical honesty would have no meaning when it comes to particularly sensitive individuals who have self-image problems. Or even people you can visibly see are already having an incredibly bad day. There’s no reason to kick someone while they're down.

Choosing to be radically honest is a lifestyle choice. You have to be prepared for the consequences that come with telling people things they don’t always want to hear. And if you’re strong enough to handle their fire, power to ya! But I think it stops being effective when you purposely hurt someone. Like Uncle Ben said – “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

I’m bluntly honest to the people I know need me to be. But I could never knowingly say something that could break them. So please practice carefully!

For anyone interested in practicing radical honesty, here’s this great “How To” guide.