I'm really hesitant to write about this subject because I barely ever talk about my disability, but I feel like it needs to be said. My friends and family know about my disability, but even then I don't always feel like they understand what it feels like living with a disability. It's even worse for strangers because they bluntly point out the limp in my step because they genuinely care, but all it really does is act as a reminder that my disability is very much visible.
You see, I was born with a mild form of cerebral palsy. It's much more mild than other people I've met with CP, but it still has a major effect on my life. The most noticeable thing that comes along with my CP is my walk. I think I walk normally, but I'm constantly reminded of my limp by strangers when they say things like "Aren't you a little young to be limping around like me?" or "Are you okay? You're limping". Things people say to me usually fall into one of those categories. Either poking fun at me or acting like they care. I'd really like to tell the people poking fun that I'm not happy about having a limp, but there's nothing I can do about it, so you can stop making me feel even worse about it. And to the people that ae showing concern, thanks for caring, but I'd really like it if you just kept it to yourself. Sometimes I wish people knew how hard I'm trying to just be normal, but it's especially hard when you bring attention to my disability.
When I say I'm trying hard I truly am. One of the hardest things for me is exercising because I love fitness and working out, but I always feel like I can push myself harder and do more things, but my body just won't let me. I especially love lifting weights, but it becomes a challenge when I'm doing free weights because one arm can lift 20 or more pounds, while the other is lucky to lift 10. I would also love to be able to run, but my bad leg makes it almost impossible. When I do run I'm usually in pain for the next hour. I also don't think people realize how much effort it takes just to walk to my classes everyday. When I say I'm always tired I mean it. I try my best to do all my studies, have a social life, and also keep my body in shape, but it definitely takes a toll on my body. When I'm doing everything I want to be doing I'm usually tired all of the time, making it even harder to function, which also makes my limp worse. Funny how that works isn't it?
I guess what I'm trying to say here is when you see someone with a physical disability think before bringing it up. Think about how it's going to make the person feel and about how much effort they are putting in just to get through the day. We have feelings too. Just like you and just because you think you're helping doesn't mean it feels like help to us. When you see a person with a disability, no matter how small, try lifting them up instead of bringing them down.
