This upcoming Sunday (1/26) marks the five year anniversary of the day my mom died. Every year for the past five years, the week leading up to this tragic day is immensely difficult for me. In this week, her death is something that almost constantly crosses my mind and takes me on a rollercoaster of emotions.

While this is all still happening for me now, I feel a bit more reflective this year. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because five years seems like a milestone year or because I feel older and wiser. But whatever the reason, I've been thinking a lot about how this event has shaped who I am as I person.

Losing a loved one is extremely sad and difficult, and especially at such a young age, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It changes you because you have to learn to survive in a world without that person there.

I became a lot stronger. I'm better equipped to deal with adversity. Challenges come easier to me than they once did.

I became more independent because I suddenly had to start doing a lot more things for myself. This helped shape me into a leader.

I'm a lot more sensitive now, but I became more aware of my needs and am learning how to ask for help. I learned that I should not have to and am not expected to go through things on my own silently.

I leaned into theatre as a way to cope, and because of it, I found my lifelong passion and some lifelong friends.

I became a better friend. I realized the importance of being there for and taking care of them. I learned to become more sensitive to their needs. I fell in love with being able to help others.

I learned to be more grateful for the loved ones that I still have with me today and to cherish every moment that we have together, especially the good ones.

Most importantly, I learned how important it is to tell the people that I care about how much I love them.

While I would do anything to have my mom back with me today, losing her helped make me the better version of myself that I am today.