From 8th grade sweethearts to now almost college sophomores, my boyfriend and I have been through a lot and we have definitely learned many things along the way. Dating can be a crazy adventure full of ups and downs; you'll experience your highest highs and your lowest lows. I can tell ya, it has been one hell of a ride, but I wouldn't change it for the world. In the last 5 years, I have grown so much as a person and I loved being able to go through the craziest parts of life with him by my side. Through middle school, high school, and now college we have almost seen it all. Here are a few of the most important things I have learned on our journey together.
1. Never go to bed angry.
I am sure many people have heard this one before from happily married couples but trust me, it is true. I have to say, after these 5 years, my biggest piece of advice is to work out every fight, no matter how stupid they may seem. I have seen it happen too many times before where couples don’t work out fights and they keep their feelings bottled up inside. Soon enough then end up having a huge fight and every unsolved problem from the months prior comes up and typically it is too much to ever solve, and they end up breaking up. Any fight, big or small, you should talk about and work out with your significant other so you don’t end up with fights in the future that could easily be preventable. The most important aspect, in my opinion, is to never go to bed angry. Sometimes you may need some time to settle down and take a deep breath in your fight, but never go to bed with plans to work it out in the morning. No one ever gets a good sleep anyways when they go to bed angry and 99% of the time you will wake up miserable and moody and the last thing you’ll want to do is work out the fight that should have already been over.
2. Listen more than you speak.
Now this one was definitely a tough one for me considering how much love to talk but, I had a professor this year who gave our class the best advice for relationships. He said, “You have two ears and one mouth, use them proportionately.” This means you need to listen more than you speak. Too often in today’s society, we are never truly listening, we are too busy formulating our response before the speaker even stops talking. With communication being a key aspect of any relationship, you need to listen. You can learn a whole lot when you just sit back and listen and actually take it in rather than just reflect your answer back at your significant other, especially when you’re in a fight.
3. Never take each other for granted.
After being together for 5 years, it is incredibly easy to take each other for granted. At this point, you know they’re yours and they aren’t planning on going anywhere so it can get hard to keep up with the little things. The little things in my relationships have always mattered the most. Over time, those little things started to dwindle down because both of us got so comfortable with each other that we didn’t think we needed to keep up with showing each other we care – we thought it was a given…but we were wrong. It showed us how important the little things are and how we needed to start appreciating them and each other again. Everyone who says it is right, never stop doing the things you did in the beginning, instead just adapt them to where you are in your relationship and you will continue to grow and flourish as a couple.
4. Always say good morning and goodnight.
Now this, this is key. It is two simple words and you just need to say them every morning and night. Make it the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night. If you continue to do this through the years you’ll always go to bed in a good mood, thinking of your significant other. And you will wake up in an even better mood if there is a good morning text or kiss waiting for you. For the last 5 years, my boyfriend and I have said good morning and goodnight every single day of our relationship and it has worked out perfectly for us. Yes, all 1,825 days and counting.
5. One person has the power to change your life for the better.
If you find the right person, they have the ability to absolutely change your life. If you let them in and give them the opportunity, you two will soon become one. The last 5 years have shown me that love is real and the ability to grow with someone into the individuals you are today is amazing. Watching your relationship grow and evolve over the years shows you just how strong love really is. If you find the right person they will have the ability to show you a whole new side of life. They will give you a different perspective and work to get you out of your stubborn ways. They will be your external motivator and they’ll always push you to do your best and try new things. Growing in a relationship and having your significant other be your best friend is the greatest thing in the world. I would never be the person I am today without my boyfriend by my side, so thank you, you know who you are.