Not all artists have to be starving. Even on a meager budget, you, too, can indulge in that ooey-gooey cheesy manna from heaven that is pizza. With a couple easy-to-find and cheap ingredients, a basic gas station frozen pizza can be made a gourmet creation. Trust me, yours truly here has embarked in the good name of science to ensure that all following combinations have been tested for maximum tastiness. So get ready to run to the store and impress all your friends; here's how to defy the odds and make some saucy magic.
Start with your cheapest available frozen pizza (the thinner the better). We recommend standard cheese, but feel free to spice it up and go for sausage or pepperoni or even supreme you hearty big spender, you, and add the following for a surefire party hit. Or just dinner for one. Love yo' self.
1. Mac & Cheese Pizza
What you need:
1 box of your favorite mac and cheese
Parmesan cheese
Optional: jalapeños, bacon, buffalo sauce
How to make it: Make your mac while your pizza's in the oven. Take your pizza out about 2 minutes before it's done. Spoon the mac onto your pizza and try to cover it evenly. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese (this helps keep the mac and cheese from just falling off your pizza, binding it in a heavenly cheesy fusion, if you will). Put that pizza back in the oven for 2 minutes. Bam. Enjoy that sh*t.
2. Onion, Balsamic, and Arugula
What you need:
1 red onion
1 bag arugula or spring mix lettuce
Balsamic vinegar or dressing
Oregano
How to make it: Dice up some red onion and sprinkle it on your pizza before throwing it in the oven. When that tangy beauty's done, hit it with some oregano, a handful of leafy greens, and a drizzle of balsamic, and have yourself a fresh dinner.
3. Breakfast Pizza
What you need:
Bacon
Eggs
Enjoy with: Mimosas, Bloody Marys
How to make it: Yeah, you heard us. Breakfast. Pizza. While your pizza is cooking, fry some bacon and four eggs to your liking (the runnier the better in our opinion). Take your pizza out a minute or two early and arrange your eggs and bacon on there like you're goddamn Picasso. Pop it back in the oven for about 2 minutes, cut into four large slices, and enjoy brunch like the winner you are.
4. BBQ Chicken Pizza
What you need:
Leftover chicken
BBQ sauce
Cilantro
Shredded cheddar cheese
How to make it: Cut your chicken from the night before into strips if it already isn't. Place chicken strips on pizza in aesthetically pleasing manner. Drizzle with BBQ sauce, hit with a couple dashes of cilantro (dried is fine, look in the thing your roommates refer to as the "spice cabinet"), and sprinkle with some cheddar cheese. Pop that saucy wench of a late night snack in the oven as soon as possible. Watch Netflix and moan in ecstasy as you bite into it.
5. Taco Pizza
What you need:
Tortilla chips
Ground beef/turkey
Taco seasoning
Salsa
How to make it: Start sizzling your ground meat in a skillet or frying pan a little bit before tossing your pizza in the oven. Mix in the taco seasoning and set aside. Take your pizza out two minutes before it's done, scoop on your meat, top with cheddar cheese, and drizzle with salsa. Put it back in until the cheese is sufficiently melty (unfffffff), take out, be life of the party.
Hopefully these DIY pizza upgrades serve you well, comrades. Impress your loved ones, spice up a boring meal, and most importantly, treat yo' self. Blessed be the 'za.
