You can call the RTS Bus a lot of things, reliable definitely being one of them--not reliable in the sense that they always come and go on time, though. They're reliable in that no matter what, on any given day, there are five types of people riding at least one of the buses driving across Gainesville.
1. The One-Man Jam Sesh--I think every route has a designated rock star passenger. Now, it seems like most people listen to their iPods on the bus but, for the most part, they do it quietly and keep it to themselves. But there's always at least one person who just can't help themselves; when their favorite song comes blasting through their headphones, it's like some uncontrollable urge takes them over and forces them to go crazy. They rock their head back and forth. They get their arm subtly pumping to the rhythm of the music. And sometimes they'll really let go and mouth the words. I've even seen a guy point at other passengers like he was in a concert and they were his audience. The best part about the One-Man Jam Sesh is that they're very entertaining to watch, and they're more than happy to put on a show. Completely oblivious to the world around them, these guys will do all but belt out the lyrics and turn your bus ride into old-school MTV on mute.
2. The Human Jello--it's not uncommon to get on the bus and find it's standing room only. For most people, this isn't much more than a minor inconvenience. But every now and then you end up standing next to the Human Jello, and then it becomes a real pain. This person just has no sense of balance whatsoever. Granted, sometimes the bus makes the occasional sharp turn or sudden stop...but this person will shift if so much as a gentle breeze hits the bus. Every movement leads to an elbow to the side or a shove from the back. Eventually you become very well-acquainted with this person, but only because you've become their personal shield as they fall all over the place while the bus is moving.
3. The Territorial Passenger--as we all know, seats are a pretty highly sought-after commodity on the buses around here, but some people take it too far. You know what I mean--all the seats are taken except for one, and you would sit in it but the person in the seat next to that one is going to try to do everything they can to prevent that from happening. They'll spread their legs into that empty seat, put their backpack there, or even give you the eye for so much as looking at it. This person is not about sitting next to people and they are going to do everything they can to make sure you know it.
4. The Loud Conversationalist--like I said, I'm pretty sure most people just listen to their music on the bus to make the time go by...but sometimes there's something much more interesting going on than what's on your iPod. That interesting something is that person near you who hasn't discovered the advent of texting or inside voices...they're not only talking on their cell phone, but they're talking loud. Whatever is going on in this person's conversation is so important that they evidently feel it would be a crime if everyone else on the bus wasn't also a part of it. I once got a full critical analysis of American Sniper free of charge on my bus ride home, courtesy of one of the Loud Conversationalists. Whatever they need to discuss with the person on the other end of the line, they're going to let you (and everyone around them) know about it.
5. The Chronic Sniffler--I've got bad allergies so I get the need to sniffle, especially in pollen-ridden Gainesville. But there's a difference between trying to avoid the occasional tissue and going to all-out war with your mucus while riding the bus. The Chronic Sniffler makes a game of seeing who can sniff the loudest--although he or she is the only player. You know when you don't notice a noise (like the whirring of the air conditioning) until it stops? That's kind of what happens when you board the bus with a Chronic Sniffler--it's just an onslaught of nasally sounds that you eventually can't even keep up with. In fact, that's kind of how it is with everything that happens on the bus; some of it may be crazy, but at this point, we're all just kind of used to it and probably won't miss it until it's gone.
