Military relationships have their ups and downs like any relationship, but they have some extra hardships. Being in a military relationship is one of the toughest things I have ever done, but it is also by far the most rewarding. They are hard, I am not going to sugarcoat it, but if you can stay strong through the hardships, the other times are so worth it.

1. They are hard work.

Being away from your significant other is never easy. You know what is even worse than that though? Not seeing your significant other for a long period of time without being able to know where they are and if they are safe. Being in that constant state of worry. Not knowing when you will be able to talk to them next. It is hard.

2. They shouldn’t be romanticized.

People tend to romanticize military couples and military relationships, but they do not see the behind-the-scenes part; the months without seeing each other, the days and sometimes even weeks without talking. This is something I would never wish on anyone. I would never want anyone to have to go through the sleepless nights that I have been through, up worried sick.

3. Despite both of those, they are worth it. So worth it.

Even with all that negative stuff, I would not change anything about my relationship. I have nothing but appreciation for the Air Force, as I would not have met my boyfriend without it. The military has brought my boyfriend well beyond the years. He is the most caring, honest, respectful, responsible, and studly man I know. As I did not know him before he joined, I cannot completely credit the military for all of those traits, but I do think they have helped. I cannot imagine myself with someone else. He had cared for me like no one ever has, and has loved me even more. Even with the hardships that come along, he is more than worth it. I would go through all this over and over again, as long as it meant I could walk through life with him by my side. You just need to stay strong and not give up, because it is worth all the craziness.

4. Contradictory to common belief, not all military couples get married right away.

I get this question all the time. “So have you guys thought about marriage yet?” or “when is the big day?” I get these questions a countless number of times. Yes, we both know he makes more if he is married. Yes, we know we get to be together if we are married. Yes, we know there are many benefits to getting married, but we do not want to rush into it. We both view marriage as an extremely special thing that does not need to be rushed. Getting married fast works for some people, we are just choosing to wait until we are both ready for that milestone in our lives.

5. The military is the ultimate decision maker.

As much as I would love to have control of our relationship, and so would my boyfriend, that is not the reality of it. The military holds the ultimate decision on pretty much every aspect. You guys can have this great trip planned with flights, reservations and everything in place; but if the military calls, those plans are cancelled. For me this was especially hard to grasp. I am someone that likes to have control, but in military relationship that is not really an option.

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I promise though, no matter how hard they may seem, they are so worth it. I am in a military relationship, and I would not have it any other way.