I have always considered myself to be pretty average. Not to say I’m not special, because if there's anything I have learned from every after school show ever it's that “everyone is unique in their own way.” Rather, I don’t have a defining personality characteristic. I’m not tough, I’m not weak, I’m not too much of anything, and in my opinion that’s not really a bad thing. What has always rubbed me the wrong way about that though is that I am expected to fit certain stereotypes, in particular that guys shouldn’t cry. Newsflash for everyone: GUYS CRY! Just as much as girls, and at equally weird, and unexpected times. I feel I cry an average amount for a person (once every 2-3 months approximately) and even if I am a “man," I shouldn’t be judged for it. So in an effort to break down some gender walls and possibly open up some eyes into the secret world of “Man,” here are 5 times I have cried in my short life as an adult thus far.
During a McDonald’s commercial.
I figured I would get the most embarrassing out of the way first. Yeah…It was not my proudest moment. Honestly, I don’t even know why it happened. It was 2 A.M. and I had just gotten back to my dorm after being at a party. My roommate wasn’t back yet, so, still a little drunk I decided to watch some random videos on Youtube. But, before the first video could start an ad began to play for McDonalds, and I kid you not, I started to tear up (eventually making my way into a soft bawl by the end of the commercial). Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was because I was tired, maybe I was just incredibly moved by a clown giving a burger to a small child. I feel as if most people can relate to this moment on some level, and if you say no, I say you’re a liar.
When my dog died…on my birthday.
You read that right, that actually happened to me, and it sucked just as much as you'd imagine. I feel it's important to add how I found out though, as well as the context of the death, which I later discovered. My mom texted me, and this is a quote, “Sandy died. Hope your bday is going well :)” right before I was suppose to go to my birthday dinner with all my friends. That made the question “How’s your birthday going so far?” especially awkward at the table. So I feel it was justified that I cried for a short minute in my car. Oh, and that context I mentioned earlier! It was that she didn’t die naturally, my parents had actually brought her to the vet that day and found out she had pretty severe cancer. They were going to wait another day, or week to do it, but they found out it would be much cheaper to do it there and now. So rather than save their son from a terrible experience, they saved a hundred dollars. Happy birthday to me.
Watching "Captain America: Winter Soldier".
Ever since I was six years old I have loved Captain America. I used to collect the comic books and read them every night till I passed out with a book light under my sheets. I skipped the first CA movie that came out because I was worried. It didn’t get perfect reviews, and I didn’t want to be disappointed, especially with someone I idolized so much. But, by the time the second movie had rolled around I decided to suck it up and just go with a few friends to see it in theaters. And I am not sure why, but finally seeing my hero off the pages, so real looking, in front of me: it touched me. I wasn’t truly crying, but more so I had a few single tears that softly rolled down my cheek and truly embodied how happy I was at that moment.
When I had my first heartbreak.
This is easily the most cliché on my list, but I wanted to mention it for one reason. Everyone has cried at this moment, everyone has experienced this moment. People (guys especially) can put up a cocky facade, and pretend not to give a care. I have been guilty of that on more than one occasion. But, no matter how tough you act, and whether you cry with people around you or not: everyone has felt this.
In the parking lot of a rehab center.
I debated for a long time whether or not I should put this on the list. My previous entries have all had at least some lightness. This one doesn’t. The summer of my senior year I started volunteering at a physical rehabilitation center for the elderly. My basic duties consisted of running errands for the therapist, and above all making sure all the patients were comfortable. Over time, I began to become close with one woman in particular. She was 97 years old and absolutely as smart as a whip. Every Sunday I would sit with her in the waiting room and listen to her stories of when she was a young nurse, or how much she hated her roommate, or about her kids and how smart they are and how much I reminded her of them. Then one day I walked into the office waiting room, and she wasn’t there. I waited, and waited, and waited. But she never came. I eventually asked the nurse where she was and a sudden grim look came over her face. “She had a bad fall last night and had to be rushed to the ER, she should be her next week though.” The next week came around and there she was, I ran up to her and eagerly said, “How are you my friend?!” She looked up at me with her glassy blue eyes and softly asked, “Who are you?” The fall had taken her memory, and even though I could see her in front of me, the person who I had gotten to know so well over many weeks would never return. Before that day I had always thought myself to be tough and rigid with my emotions, but I will openly admit that on that day, I went home and cried.
Crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s a simply a part of existing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a McDonald's commercial or a funeral, people cry and that doesn’t make you less of a man, it just makes you more human.
