Buffy the Vampire Slayer has hands-down been one of the most influential, meaningful TV shows for me, including characters that strengthened the way that I define myself as a woman, behave as a friend and how I carry myself throughout life.

There’s Buffy, the loyal and brave vampire slayer, surely the protagonist of the show, but still questions and is scared about her life and purpose. Willow used to be the shy, quiet academic who later grows into a powerful witch who never sets boundaries for her learning and pledges herself to those who she loves and still manages to make mistakes regardless of how smart she can be. There are Giles and Xander who prove that strong, intelligent, and capable men can maintain their “manhood,” and still know when to sit on the sidelines.

The development of these characters and even more throughout the series changed the way I thought about how friends should support one another, and even helped me understand that even the most destined of people still find it incredibly difficult to accept their fate. Even the most bad*ss of women and men could still, at the end of the day, have kryptonite-like vulnerabilities and that I could accept mine, as well.

1. When she faced her destiny

Buffy had to face her destiny as her generation's Vampire Slayer at the tender age of 16 years old. Without any consideration for her life, the innocence she would lose, or just the simple fact that she had no say in the matter, Buffy took on her birthright. No matter if she was beaten to her lowest point or even just lost out on a date with the cutest guy in school, she accepted her responsibility for the good of the world as the Chosen One.

2. When she protected her sister

Buffy and Dawn had a relatively close, loving relationship for two girls one would never expect to be sisters, or related in any way. But regardless of each others’ griping or constant annoyance, Buffy protected Dawn with a ferocious intensity. For her, and several other characters in the series, very little comes before family and the closest circle of friends.

3. When she gave into the pain

When Willow forgets herself and gives up her good magic to become a more powerful dark magic witch, she does so only to cope with the great loss she cannot confront. Her vicious, villainous acts of brutality are teased out of her as she is tormented by foe after foe, each worsening her pain. Only as she allows herself to once again cry and grieve in the arms of her best friend, does she accept her humanity and the struggle that comes with maintaining it.

4. When she spoke her mind

Cordelia is given a hard time in the course of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and is generally written off as the spoiled popular girl of the high school. However, beneath her shallow exterior rests an insecurity of loneliness and being misunderstood by her “friends.” Cordy says exactly what she thinks and is incredibly honest (regardless of the circumstances or consequences) to combat that exact insecurity. And even though that is generally expressed in a more insulting manner, one knows that she is true to her mind when she takes their side.

5. And when she stopped an apocalypse

“Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do, and we can do it together, but if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn.”

Without a doubt Buffy has shaped me as the woman I am today, and each individual woman on the show sheds light on the possibilities we have to write amazing characters. Hopefully, you’re as intrigued as I was the first time I learned about Buffy and want to watch as well. Either way, you’re now an official un-official Slayerette! Welcome to the Scooby gang!