The summer before your senior year of college is different than any other summer. Most people are doing an internship in a new city, spending the summer in their college town, traveling, or maybe spending one last summer home. Wherever you are, one thing is the same: you're starting to get this weird feeling. It's a feeling that's hard to describe but everybody has it. The feeling that something great is ending, but that the something will begin. Not everybody knows what. College is so comfortable-- you show up, see your friends again, buy your books and then you carry on your normal life for the rest of the semester. I've had so many moments this summer where I pause mid sentence and just think "oh my god" as I soon realize that in a year everything will be different.
1. I now only "visit" home.
All of the other years of college it never felt like I was visiting home. I would be home in the summers, for a about a month in the winter, and on the occasional weekend or two. But now when I go home it feels like such a visit after spending my last summer away. After graduation I'll be in another state, another school, another....... house. It was a weird feeling when I visited home this weekend and thought wow, I now only really come home to visit.
2. You're friends are all over the place.
The summer of my sophomore and junior year I visited my friends from school a lot, concerts together, weekend trips, beach days, or even just a lunch to catch up, but this year all of my friends are spread out across the country. An internship in Cali, a non-profit in Boston, a backpacking trip Europe. I haven't been able to see everyone as much as I have in the last few years. And that's when I realized, this is what it will be like after graduation.
3. You feel old.
A senior in college used to seem SO far away. I remember being a freshman and seniors would tell me, "Enjoy it, it goes fast" and I would think "yeah yeah yeah I know." But now when I stop and actually think about how fast it went I can't believe I am about to start my last time around
4. There is life beyond college.
My freshman year I absolutely loved college (probably enjoyed it too much). I had to soak up every single second of it in fear that the one time I stayed in something big would happen (it didn't). But as I started filling out applications, looking for post grad apartments, and essentially planning the rest of my life, I started to realize that there is more to life than frat parties and finals papers. Your resume won't read, "Gets 200+ likes on Instagram." Soon the things that were once so important are last on your to do list.
5. I am both excited and depressed about what's to come.
This is not to say that I'm not excited for senior year but I wish I could pause frame it for a little while. I am excited to celebrate all the "lasts" with my friends but I'm not excited for when it all wraps up. All of the cliches are right:
I am lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard
These four years are flying bye.
You need to enjoy it while it's here.
And these were the best years of my life.
