As a mother of two cats, I have learned a lot about what it means to be a "cat mom."
For those of you who may not know, a cat mom is someone who has between one to three cats / kittens (maybe more) and treats them like her own human spawn.
As you are sitting here laughing at the ridiculousness of this article, I will have you know that being a cat mom is one heck of an experience!
So if you are truly curious, then I implore you to read further about the five things I have learned being a cat mom.
1. No two cats are the same!
When you become a cat mom, you will quickly learn that any cat you get is like a snowflake; there are never two of the same.
As I stated before, I currently have two ridiculous cats of my own. My 11-year-old grey and white, female cat is named Kitten, while my one-year-old Russian Blue, male cat is named Happy.
When it comes to these two, they are as opposite from one another as salt is to pepper.
Kitten is a "mommy's cat," which means she has to follow me around the house and be up my butt 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
On the other hand, Happy only wants attention when he wants to play fetch with me or if he wants treats.
When Kitten sleeps, she curls up ever so gently, while Happy sprawls out like a drunken, college frat boy.
When they are awake, Happy always sneaks up and pounces on Kitten, while Kitten smacks the heck out of him.
These two cats are so different that their personalities give them traits that we would associate with actual human children.
So if you decide to become a cat mom, then you will learn rather quickly how different each of your cats will be.
2. Cats are your therapists.
Before I had my first cat, I always bottled up any thoughts or feelings that I had. I really do not like sharing my feelings, so I always felt very upset as I laid awake at night.
Then I got my first cat.
First off, let me say that cats are great listeners. All of my cats just sit there and listen to my babble about the plethora of thoughts that are buzzing around my skull.
They do not talk back and their always condescending expression helps me to relieve the amount of stress that I carry every single day.
So if you plan on being a cat mom, then be ready to talk to your cats (therapists) about anything from recipes to the annoying classmate who thinks that they are smarter than the professor.
3. Cats can be little shit-heads.
Now, let me switch lanes for a second and go from praising cats to pointing out how much of a little shit-head they can be.
Don't get me wrong, I would walk through Legos just to save my cats. However, they can really be annoying.
For example, I previously mentioned that my cat, Happy, loves to play fetch. Well if you think that it is really cool that a cat can play fetch, then you are surely mistaken.
Happy has a bunch of jingle balls that he loves to play with. If I am in the house, then he will pick them up in his mouth and bring them to me to throw for him. His favorite is when I am upstairs in my bedroom and I throw the ball down the stairs for him to dart after.
Well, Happy is a little sh*t-head because he usually wants to play fetch at 1 a.m. in the morning.
Every morning this fuck boy comes upstairs, drops a jingle ball in my face, and meows until I throw it. If you try to ignore him, then he will just walk on top of you and stare into your soul until you wake up.
Now, you may be wondering, "Why don't you just shut your door at night?" Well, that is because of shit-head number two, Kitten.
Kitten always has to be with me no matter what it is I am doing. Whether it is doing homework, taking a shower, washing dishes or brushing my teeth, Kitten has to be there in my arms.
If she is not with me or if I am not holding her, then she cries and cries and cries.
So, you may be wondering why I put up with this well this goes into the next countdown which is...
4. Cats become your children.
Despite all the quirks my cats have, I would not change anything about them.
The reason why I always throw Happy's ball at night or the reason why I let Kitten rest her cheek on my face is because I love my cats as if they were my children.
I know calling your cats your kids is a bit cliche, but if you have ever had a strong bond with an animal, you will know what I mean.
As a cat mom, however, you realize that cats are just little furry kids with their own unique personalities, shapes and sizes.
They can make you laugh, cheer you up, play with you and just mimic human children to a tee.
There is just something about cats that makes them just be able to just slide right into your life and fill it in a way that a child would.
5. Cats make your life awesome!
As an expert cat mom, I sometimes find myself wondering what my life would be like if I didn't have cats. As you become a cat parent you learn that your life would suck without cats!
Take a moment and picture this, you come home and it is dead silent. No pitter-patters of cat feet running up to greet you. No constant purring on your lap as you sit on your couch watching television. Most importantly, you would not have your go-to accessory of cat hair all over your clean clothes!
Cats give you memories; stories to tell for years to come. They can make your day and add some liveliness to your otherwise dull household.
So that is what I have learned as a cat mom. If you are not a cat mom or cat daddy, then what are you waiting for! Go get a cat, start an adventure with your cats and together go kick some butt! (Or maybe just beat up that mouse toy on a string!)
