Math is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life and for those who’ve known me and have read my previous articles, yes I’ve already written an article about my mathematical experiences but these five things need to be said.
I really do try.
I swear I do try, I mean, look at my homework average. If I didn’t try I wouldn’t have a 90% homework average. When you look at me and the rest of the class while we’re going over the test and say, “I can’t believe none of you tried.” you don’t have a right to say that. I did try. I gave my all and I’m so it wasn’t enough for you to consider me a “good student.” I take amazing notes, I always try my best to get everything you write on the board into my notebook as accurately as possible and I’ve never missed a class, but you’re right, I don’t try.
Sitting in class having you stare at me like I’m a moron stinks.
I sit in the front row of desks so that way it’s easier for me to see what you write on the board, even though sometimes your chicken-scratch is far from legible. There came a time when I actually knew the answer to one of the equations you’d written on the board and when I started talking, you looked back at me and seemed to be shocked that one, I could talk and two, that I was actually capable of giving a legitimate answer. I have a brain, and yes, shockingly enough I know how to use it.
When you say, “Some of you did well, others did not.” you’re not being subtle, I know you’re talking about me.
It’s become like a sixth sense for me. Whenever I take a test on any given Friday and feel like I did well, it lasts for all of that weekend. Then on Monday when I go back to class and you say the words, “Some of you did well, others did not.” All of my confidence goes out the window and I automatically know there’s no way that I did well and you’re saying that directly to me. As you pass the tests back and you say the words “good job” under your breath to every student but me, I know you don’t think I’ve caught on but yes, I have.
I stayed up until 3am to study for this test, I’m sorry I got a 43.
You will never know anyone else like me in your career. I care way too much about a class that I only need to complete so I can get my three credits towards my degree. I have a fantastic homework average and I take exceptional notes. I study for hours and I feel like I retain nothing. Whenever I study I understand what we’ve gone over for weeks in class, but then whenever a test is placed in front of me, everything I’ve ever studied goes away. So, I’m sorry I got a 43 but I managed to make it to class on time, in one piece and I promise, I studied.
I get nervous to ask questions because I don’t want my classmates to think I’m stupid.
It probably sounds foolish because I'm a college student and still afraid of what those around me think of me. While other people my age are striving with the whole not caring aspect. I'm different. I take what people say about me/to me/around me to heart. So with that being said if I ask what I think is a dumb question because you've already gone over it for all of a half an hour and given us six examples, and of course everyone else is hoping for us to move on, I'm not going to ask a question. Because if I do, it’ll just instill anger in the rest of the class.
Thank you for your consideration.
