I have been working in the restaurant industry for about 4 years now. I have worked at a few different establishments, in a few different positions; from host to server to bartender. Before I started working in the restaurant industry, I was fortunate enough to have a family who dines out at least once a week and had established my own ideas about the whole server industry, but until I started working in the business I never really understood it. I never understood what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. I had no clue about the difficulties that servers face, the commitment involved to provide good service, the sheer physical exhaustion, the low pay-to-effort ratio, and the kaleidoscope of frustrations behind the job.

For those of you who never worked in this industry, here are five things every server wants you to know:

1. We occasionally make mistakes.

We are, in fact, human beings and until someone invents a robot who will get you those extra lemons, we have our off-days too. Sometimes we are exhausted or coming down with a cold. Sometimes we’ve had a personal tragedy that is hard for us to get past. It does not mean that we are not trying to do a great job. We have some days that are better than others and we do feel badly when our off days come at a cost to our costumers.

2. Nobody wants to feel like they are being a pest (whether you are a sever or not).

If we come to the table a few times to check on things or see if you’re ready to place your order and you shoo us away, then we are going to back off. People may have to wave us down to get us back again, which is fine, but then please do not get angry. I have other tables and also have to attend to others needs.

3. Sometimes it actually isn't our fault.

I can think of multiple occasions where a manager made a staffing cut too early because it seemed the restaurant was going to be empty that night. Then BOOM! A rush of 15 tables walked in, with more behind them, and that, my friend, is a game changer. The kitchen can only make food so fast and the first thing that happens when a wave of people order at once is that the kitchen gets backed up. The next thing I know my manager is in the back cooking with the chefs (this seriously happens and I can attest to it). Kitchen back-ups really have nothing to do with the server, although it’s always the server who takes the heat for it. I promise I am checking on your food as much as possible, without simultaneously angering the kitchen staff.

Also, it’s not my fault that we don’t have that taco bowl from three years ago. I’m sorry if corporate decided to change the menu on you, and trust me - we are all probably just as devastated, but I cannot just make that taco bowl appear ma’am. I can suggest something else or bring a manager out to explain how this horrific, life-changing moment could possibly happen to YOU, but please understand that I, one person in the corporate machine, did not call the CEO and demand that they remove specific items from the menu.

4. We probably heard you the first time.

The entire table asks for glasses of water (with lemons – every servers favorite thing), sodas, specialty cocktails, and extra ice in Aunt Sally’s diet cola. Oh no! We “only” came out with the waters? What’s happening??? It’s really a simple matter of logistics, meaning that the drinks typically are not all ready to be served at the same time. If you work at a chain restaurant, usually the water will almost always come out first because I can get it myself and the bar has to make cocktails for everyone in the restaurant. If it’s a large table, it makes sense to bring out the waters first, sometimes with the sodas, and then the cocktails .I don’t want you to have to wait and I can’t carry all the drinks at the same time. Do not worry sir, I did not forget your Manhattan with a cherry. The same thing goes for food. Sometimes there are not enough runners in the back to help bring out food. I can only carry so much.

5. We lives off of our tips.

Maybe the most frustrating part of this job is knowing that you can go home on any given day with no money at all. Our hourly wage is typically so low that it just covers the income tax we have to pay. We are literally living off of what customers give us as a tip. Some days are better than others, as any job has, but the difference between a serving job and an office job is the uncertainty about what we will earn and how we will pay our bills. It is extremely frustrating and upsetting when we receive a $0 tip on any type of bill. Of course we want every tip to be the best it can be, but $0… really?

How would you feel if your manager came up to you one day, at your office job, and said, “Hey, you’ve done a good job today, but we aren’t going to pay you. Thanks for the hard work!”

Sometimes we aren’t on our game - we get that - but we have lives too, with bills to pay for, and most of us are just trying to get by. Are there days when we deserve a lower tip? Sure, but tipping nothing to the insulting fifty-cent tip is a kick in the mouth, just like your boss saying he/her isn’t going to pay you for a days work.

I love my job and I love people. I’m in this business because I enjoy hospitality. Just like any other jobs, there are bumps in the road that I sometimes have no control over.

We are all just trying to make a living; some of us until we finish school, some of us for life, and some of us just for the extra cash. In any case, we work hard and we do want our customers to have the best experience possible, but sometimes things are out of our hands. As servers we are committed to making your dinning experience the best it can be. Please let that be reciprocated.